Topic of the discussion
Posted on 9/2/17 6:58 PM
Hi,anyone who may read this., quick history,I lost my son a little over 2 yrs ago,like many I was fortunate to call him my friend as well as son,he was 25 and everything to live for,,he didn't know,or his girlfriend either,that he would be a a father to a child the image of him,I as his dad have found last 2 yrs hard,,but,now I've been suicidal,off work ,and struggling,I'm lucky I have good friends an family supporting me but at times feel so lonely it physically hurts!,ne4d4d to share and if possible to talk on here to anyone else going through similar thanks
Beginning of the discussion - 9/4/17Depression after loss of my child, 2 yrs on https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-behavioural-disorders-mental-illne/depression-after-loss-of-my-child-2-yrs-on-1933
Posted on 9/4/17 2:48 PM
Hi @Hidden username,
I am truly sorry for your loss! I wish you all the strength in the world to cope with it.
Hope you will get support from other members of the community here on Carenity.
Posted on 9/18/17 3:11 PM
I lost my son who was 21 August 2014. It was suicide . He had everything to live for and was adored. I have had 3 years struggling - with a small child his sister was 3 when he passed. Paying the mortgage etc. On my own. Mental health often fogged. Severe anxiety without anti depressants a bit too fogged with them . however I go on and some how the pain does ease with time . Like a wound that takes a long time to heal. My overall functioning will probably never be quite the same but I am successfully raising my daughter keeping her in a good home and hope to manage some self care in time . And it does physically hurt a lot for a long time. I was lucky to have 6 months of not working and support with childcare afterwards so I could rest with the pain.
Slowly functioning came back. Do not avoid the pain just rest with it and cry. Took at least 6 months of continuous grieving to get past the constant physical pain. It is the grieving and it is better to feel it and work through it to the other side. Takes time for sure. Your family need you and your loss would amplify the pain to others. Post traumatic shock is common for survivors of sudden death in family like suicide. give yourself time and grieve. through to the other side with time. Hope it helps
Posted on 9/19/17 8:38 PM
Thank you for this ,it's brought me to tears ,for now can I just say thank you and when feel in a better place reply properly?x
Posted on 9/23/17 1:03 PM
I read some authors that helped also Anita Moorjani in particular Eben Alexander also.
Eckhart Tolle is heavier but really good. It may not all be so final .....they gave me hope.
Posted on 2/19/19 3:46 PM
Hey there - Its 4 years now and I am working in a new career.Back then I did not want to live without my son but I had to live for my daughter. I worked in an office job but my ability tp concentrate was affected so now I am a working in a physical job. My daughter is and has always thrived. We had a 5 week holiday in the sun over Christmas and new year. I feel almost as good as new. The pain is gone and now its something nightmarish that happened that took its toll but we can move on now. I am fatter , less energetic and less able to focus than before but I am back in the normal range and my careers adjusted to suit my abilities. Hope to drop a dress size by next year and be a young 50 because I was a an old 45. Hard to believe but timeactually does heal the worst wounds.
Posted on 2/21/19 10:02 AM
@Hidden username Judy it is wonderful to hear that you're doing better and you feel motivated for the future. Grief truly is a journey...it reminds me of this quote:
"Grief is never something you get over. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'I've conquered that; now I'm moving on.' It's something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honour the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity." Terri Irwin.