Living with schizophrenia: “It doesn’t have to define your future”

“At first, it was mild paranoia”

Her schizophrenia developed gradually, almost imperceptibly.

“At first, it was mild paranoia, barely noticeable.”

Then the feeling of persecution intensified. She felt as though she was being followed in the street. Gradually, auditory hallucinations began.

She heard voices and believed that people were talking to her in the street, when she was actually alone in her bedroom.

At the height of her illness, daily life became particularly difficult. Intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts overwhelmed her to the point that she could no longer hold a conversation.

“I wasn’t myself anymore.”

She also describes feeling powerful, even believing that she was “chosen by God”. She felt that God was making her say and do strange things.

The television also seemed to be speaking to her.

“It was exciting but truly horrible.”

At the time, she did not consider herself ill. When her brother told her one day that she was experiencing psychosis, she reacted badly and told him that everything was fine.

To her, the voices and sensations she experienced were real.

Initial treatment, followed by a relapse

Before her illness reached its peak, she was briefly admitted to hospital. But at 18, she left the hospital and returned home.

A few weeks later, she finally saw a private psychiatrist, who prescribed medication.

Her condition stabilised, but she remained without any regular activity. The medication significantly increased her appetite, and she quickly gained weight.

She also describes a feeling of emptiness and a sense that she was no longer really herself.

“I felt drained. I would often close my eyes without thinking about anything.”

Another painful difficulty was that some of her friends had distanced themselves, frightened by her illness.

She then decided to stop taking her medication.

She quickly lost weight and felt as though she was coming back to life. She regained a social life and enrolled in evening classes to retake her French baccalaureate exams.

But a few months later, her symptoms returned.

She relapsed and eventually resumed medication.

“I couldn’t say exactly why I started taking that medication I hated again. I must have felt that something wasn’t right.”

Eight months in hospital

After another, increasingly intense episode, she was admitted to hospital for eight months.

She describes this period frankly as particularly difficult.

“It was horrible. I won’t pretend otherwise.”

She was given numerous medications and says she felt completely lost.

At the end of this hospital stay, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

She was already familiar with the condition, having researched mental health disorders. What distressed her most was the prospect of long-term treatment.

She imagined that she would become “a zombie”, feel constantly tired, gain a lot of weight and die young.

It would take time for her to accept this new reality.

Rediscovering a routine and activities

After leaving hospital, she received regular follow-up care, including at a day hospital.

This service helped her re-establish a routine and gradually rebuild her everyday life.

She then attended a clinic combining medical care and education, where she obtained the DAEU, a French qualification equivalent to the baccalaureate. She worked, volunteered and spent a year living in a therapeutic residence.

She later obtained a studio flat with the help of an association.

Looking back, she believes that activities and communal living played an essential role in her journey.

“Having activities and living in a community certainly saved me.”

No further relapse since 2009

Her last hospital admission was in 2009. Since then, she has not relapsed. She explains that she has consistently followed her medication regimen, which has remained unchanged.

The fear of experiencing further episodes and involuntary psychiatric care strengthened her determination to continue treatment.

She did gain weight, but she now recognises that she did not become the “zombie” she had imagined.

She also experienced depression, for which she was prescribed antidepressants. She was later able to manage without them after resuming activities at the day hospital.

Learning to recognise the signs of the condition

Although she has not relapsed for several years, she explains that she still experiences some “lasting effects” of the illness.

At times, she may feel persecuted, sad or anxious.

During these periods, she tries to step back and remind herself that what she is feeling is related to her condition and does not necessarily reflect reality.

She also has medication to take “as needed”, which helps her through these periods.

But her stability also depends heavily on activities.

She draws, writes, goes out for coffee and takes time to congratulate herself when she accomplishes something positive.

She also attends psychotherapy and drawing classes. She regularly visits a Groupe d’Entraide Mutuelle (GEM), a mutual support group.

Writing holds a special place in her life: she has published a collection of poems about her illness and would now like to go further by publishing a novel.

“For me, staying active is essential”

Over the years, she has also rebuilt her social circle.

She has reconnected with friends whom she sees regularly. Her family, loved ones and healthcare professionals, including her psychiatrist and psychologist, now give her a sense of security.

For her, maintaining regular activities is essential.

“For me, staying active is essential.”

She particularly encourages people living with schizophrenia not to remain isolated and to find an activity suited to their circumstances.

She believes that day hospitals can help people establish a routine and, sometimes, gradually move towards employment.

Her message to people who have recently been diagnosed

Her message to someone who has just been diagnosed with schizophrenia is clear:

“It doesn’t have to define your future.”

She emphasises the importance of following treatment, even when it is difficult to accept, and maintaining regular activities.

Her own experience has shown her that a diagnosis does not mean giving up on a social, professional or personal life.

What about loved ones?

For the loved ones of someone experiencing a psychotic episode, she recommends, above all, remaining calm and gentle.

In her experience, directly trying to convince someone that they are ill can be counterproductive when they are convinced that they are the target of a conspiracy or persecution.

Instead, she advises avoiding confrontation and guiding them towards a psychiatrist.

Once the person has stabilised with treatment, she feels it becomes easier to discuss returning to activities and the importance of ongoing care.

She also points out that a psychotic episode does not necessarily lead to a diagnosis of schizophrenia, and that psychological follow-up remains important so professionals can monitor how the situation develops.

“You can live with schizophrenia”

After more than a decade without a relapse, she now sees her journey differently.

Schizophrenia remains a disability in her life, but it does not prevent her from being happy.

She has reconnected with friends, found activities, written and published a collection of poems, and built an everyday life that suits her.

She also knows that more difficult periods may return.

Her message is therefore both realistic and hopeful:

“You can live with schizophrenia. It is a disability, but it is possible to be happy and to accept that there will sometimes be difficult times. It’s about learning to live with the condition.”

Key takeaways

• Schizophrenia can develop gradually, with symptoms that are not always immediately recognised.
• Accepting the diagnosis and treatment can take time.
• Maintaining activities and a daily routine played an important role in her journey.
• Support from loved ones and healthcare professionals remains essential.
• Her experience shows that it is possible to build a fulfilling life with schizophrenia.

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