"It’s all in your head!": How do you deal with this frustrating comment?

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Somya.P

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Edited on 28/02/2025 at 09:43

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Somya.P

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Hello everyone! 😊

Many people living with chronic illness have heard the frustrating remark: “It’s all in your head!” This kind of comment can be invalidating, minimizing the symptoms and struggles that come with both visible and invisible illnesses.

Pain and suffering from chronic conditions are very real and deserve to be acknowledged. By sharing our experiences and discussing these challenges, we can help break stereotypes and promote better understanding.

👉 How do you react when someone says this to you?

👉 How do you explain your condition and make others understand your struggles?

👉 What responses or arguments have helped you challenge this misconception?

@Nounou1 @steven elvin @Jmann111 @dennit @pollyj4 @Christina1958 @Rolley @francis @Mulligankaren @jreikimaster @joycet @Peggylea @leosmith317 @jackykins @lar123 @ZoeLara @Scotty 2 @Andy B @Shayman @mr chipps @joejoer @BigMacGregor @bearskin @Hardpillow @laney365 @BrianM @copperbeech @anto65 @fernster @Nanaclaire @jamesm @Razor690 @AmandaK @Marika @millerkaren @Tigger.co.uk @ellesse @Macymac @Bonzo1939 @mjteddy @KPangela @Jonbon31 @kingpaul @Lenniep @Popbabe @mikesalmons @marshy2503 @cupcake1 @Majenta @Cookie62 @Pred.hater @AJWilson @Mogaman @Magi52 @neilcardiff @Mandy59 @bigroscoe @Leanneh @Redsusieq @VICKICOFFEY @hinapar @hockeygoalie @Gillyanna @FARMER3752 @chrissie2018 @Susiek @Susie39 @judahtwo @HannahAitken @Bryanthemercman @Zalena @Braveheart180 @Harrogate26 @NannieAnn @Glyndwr @Folioc @Mich1969 @Ginny1234 @cwright17 @ColinSalter @audieb @Thegardener @Rita14 @Allymal @Elk217015 @Rhinoriggs @marymack @Meltonmark @Flip5ter @gmorlet @lululips @RonTock @SP3RDN4 @Heybex @silaganntee @mickyf @OvaJoy @Ginifer @AnOld74 @Harveymoon

Let’s share our experiences (and some kind but firm comebacks!) to educate and support one another. 💬😊

Looking forward to your thoughts!

Somya from the Carenity team 🌼

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Flip5ter

26/02/2025 at 18:19

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Flip5ter

Last activity on 30/06/2025 at 10:26

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It's not all in the head but the head can be a factor in the problem, whereby the physical problem causes stress, anxiety or even mental health issues, which in turn can have an adverse effect on the physical problem.

"It’s all in your head!": How do you deal with this frustrating comment? https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/its-all-in-your-head-how-do-you-deal-with-this-frustrating-comment-5620 2025-02-26 18:19:00

VICKICOFFEY

26/02/2025 at 18:40

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VICKICOFFEY

Last activity on 30/06/2025 at 15:25

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I a doctor tells me it all in my head, I know my body and its not. I will simply go to another Dr. because I am not comfortable with a Dr telling me nothing is wrong with me, with no testing or explanation. We have to be our own advocates!

ZoeLara

26/02/2025 at 23:42

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ZoeLara

Last activity on 19/06/2025 at 07:27

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After years of ME/CFS I don't feel I have to explain my health anymore.

So I just say I don't wish to talk about it. It usually added to my frustration when I tried in times past

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Sheila Mulhall

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Tigger.co.uk

01/03/2025 at 10:20

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Tigger.co.uk

Last activity on 30/06/2025 at 12:33

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@ZoeLara you shouldn't have to explain to anyone about the way you feel you know and that is what counts a lot of illnesses are not shown it's how you feel about yourself, not all illnesses are visible if you feel down then pick up the phone and talk to someone there is always someone that will listen or talk to us on here

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AnOld74

27/02/2025 at 13:20

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The head is an important part of the body. So to say it's all in your head is a ridiculous thing to say. We all just need to be me supporting of each other. Everyone is fighting their own battle.

gmorlet

27/02/2025 at 23:14

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gmorlet

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@Somya.P probably relating to the fact that you’re never alone in whatever you’re going through, so you can always find people to relate to

chrissie2018

18/05/2025 at 16:17

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chrissie2018

Last activity on 29/06/2025 at 15:14

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I told my Dad I had depression in my 20's due to personal events and post natal depression due to having my son's. Years later he said he didn't know I had it and said that anti depressants send you round the bend. My Dad also said if I found employment I'd stop being depressed. I am sick of people thinking depression is all in the head as it's not

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C Newton

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Flip5ter

20/05/2025 at 10:53

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Flip5ter

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@chrissie2018 technically it is in the head as it is a mental condition, but with a bit of help and support can be managed and dealt with. I would never decry anyone’s condition, but it does require work by the victim of the depression. Most people that suffer with it (I am not medically trained). Tend to worry too much about trivial things, it requires getting things into perspective, in that what would be the worse case scenario if any of your worries happened. I can virtually guarantee that it wouldn’t be as bad a worrying about the “what if” I am 70 now and have had 2 brief spells of depression in my life. But my doctor gave me great advice the first time, lucky for me it worked. I said I don’t feel like doing anything, I am struggling to cope, he found the trigger to help me get back, and said just do what you want to do. I found that liberating and it got me back on track quickly. Whilst I appreciate simple things like that don’t work for everyone. A trigger can help.

my personal view on anti depressants is that the cloud rational thinking to enable us to get back to normal.

i am not telling you what to do or saying that you aren’t suffering, I am just giving you a possible option as a coping mechanism.

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YorkshireJayne

19/05/2025 at 06:19

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YorkshireJayne

Last activity on 30/06/2025 at 06:18

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When it's a so called specialist in a problem you absolutely know that you have, including a faulty gene which gives you a higher chance of developing it, it's upsetting. We were raised not to question people in authority, but by gum (as we say in Yorkshire) I fought and fought to get the correct diagnosis and an apology from the NHS.

In 1996, when my spine finally trapped the sciatic nerve and I was rushed to hospital, numb all below the waist, my so called best friend told everyone that I was putting it on! I haven't spoken to her since.

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Life is for living, do it, no matter what!

lesmal

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19/05/2025 at 10:03

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lesmal

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I've had epilepsy for 51 years and have many other health issues. It's definitely not 'in the head' when I know my body and how each seizure hits and affects my body, muscles and more.

I was bullied at school for having seizures in front of others, but who came out the proudest for continually fighting, advocating and educating... ME!

No one must give me advice on how to make the most of my life as I've learnt to be independent and stick up for myself after all these years!

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Les

chrissie2018

Edited on 20/05/2025 at 12:47

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chrissie2018

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Well lucky you I've had depression over 30 years due to a lot of things happening in my life I wish I didn't suffer with depression and I was bullied at school which is how it started

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C Newton

"It’s all in your head!": How do you deal with this frustrating comment?

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