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Survivor's guilt: How do you heal and find meaning in life after cancer?

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avatar Somya.P

Somya.P

Community manager
17/12/2024 at 20:00

Good advisor

avatar Somya.P

Somya.P

Community manager

Last activity on 22/05/2025 at 17:09

Joined in 2023


625 comments posted | 9 in the Living with cancer group

48 of their responses were helpful to members


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Hello everyone,

How are you feeling today?

Many cancer survivors carry a surprising and heavy burden: guilt. Even after treatments are over and health improves, it’s common to feel conflicted. You may wonder, “Why me? Why did I survive when others didn’t?” or feel guilt about how the illness has impacted your loved ones. For some, there’s even a sense of not living up to the second chance they’ve been given.

This “survivor guilt” is normal, but that doesn’t make it easier. It’s tied to a deep need to make sense of the trauma and find fairness in something so unfair. Some survivors find themselves comparing their journey to others’, minimizing their own struggles because someone else had it “worse.” Others might feel sadness or helplessness when thinking about those still in treatment or those they’ve lost.

One survivor shared how she dealt with these feelings by finding purpose in connection. She supported another young woman with leukaemia, sending her care packages and encouragement, saying, “The worst thing for me would be feeling like I wasn’t doing anything to help someone else.” Small acts like this can help turn guilt into something positive.

Let’s open up about this:

  • Have you ever found yourself asking, “Why me?” How do you cope with those feelings?
  • What’s helped you find peace or purpose after cancer?
  • How do you feel about connecting with others? Does helping someone else ease the weight of guilt?

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You’re not alone in this. Let’s share and support each other. Your story might be the one someone else needs to hear.

Take care,
Somya from the Carenity team 🌼

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avatar Tigger.co.uk

Tigger.co.uk

20/12/2024 at 11:57

Good advisor

avatar Tigger.co.uk

Tigger.co.uk

Last activity on 22/05/2025 at 18:10

Joined in 2016


768 comments posted | 30 in the Living with cancer group

47 of their responses were helpful to members


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When I found out I had cancer, it was so scary I thought that this was going to be the end, and that I wouldn't see or be with my family it was so worrying, after all my treatment, I didn't want my family to see how I looked as I felt like a broken toy part of my women hood had gone and I wasn't feeling like a woman anymore, I understand many have died having breast cancer, and am one of the lucky ones, but it still worries me of it comming back, I still can't look in a mirror because I don't feel like a women anymore I have changed the way I dress I have tried many false boobs but I don't like them they are either heavy or look rediculous, so I just wear higher necks on jumpers or round necks on dresses etc it's not the same anymore and I have to wear a long sleeve and glove it's uncomfortable in the hot weather, but I know I have to wear it as it helps my lymphodema, my life has changed, a lot but I am lucky I am alive, I am on lots of different medications, for all different life threatening illnesses but my cancer still scares me the most as I am afraid of it returning, and now I have type 2 diabetes as well so that is something else I have to worry about, especially for my diet as having coeliac disease and type 2 diabetes it changes every thing diet wise now I have to be careful of my sugar, wheat, gluten and salt. So it doesn't help my anxiety ptsd low moods depression, all I get is more worry with more different illnesses, having had breast cancer losing my left breast, 6 horrible weeks of radiotherapy, being on hormone treatment which didn't help my osteoporosis, and having an ultra sound which said I had angina and the radiotherapy leaving me with Copd emphysema, and then having lymphodema, it was just adding more life threatening illnesses on top of the others I already had, so now it's just getting on with my life what time I have left to not look back at what was but to look forward to the life I can have now, I know in my heart I have to stop worrying but it is hard but I'm lucky to be here and I thank god for that

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Survivor's guilt: How do you heal and find meaning in life after cancer? https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/living-with-cancer/survivors-guilt-how-do-you-heal-and-find-meaning-in-life-after-cancer-5529 2024-12-20 11:57:42

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