- Home
- Share
- Forum
- Depression Forum
- Living with anxiety and other mental illnesses
- What attachment style do you have? Secure, Anxious, Avoidant or Fearful-Avoidant?
Patients Depression
What attachment style do you have? Secure, Anxious, Avoidant or Fearful-Avoidant?
- 149 views
- 1 support
- 6 comments
Best comment
Pippadog
AmbassadorGood advisor
Pippadog
Ambassador
Last activity on 21/07/2024 at 22:45
Joined in 2016
190 comments posted | 7 in the Depression Forum
25 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Good Advisor
-
Contributor
-
Messenger
-
Committed
-
Explorer
-
Evaluator
I think throughout life one suffers from all the stated anxieties but as one grows older, more experience, encouragement, support one can jump from one to another leaving some, or most of the old feelings behind tucked away but they can rear their ugly feelings at times, it's trying to find a suppressant method.
I personally feel secure this has taken many years to develop gaining life experiences, knowledge and confidence so if the demons return I can cope with them to stop any damage they would like to do. Everyone is different.
All comments
Pippadog
AmbassadorGood advisor
Pippadog
Ambassador
Last activity on 21/07/2024 at 22:45
Joined in 2016
190 comments posted | 7 in the Depression Forum
25 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Good Advisor
-
Contributor
-
Messenger
-
Committed
-
Explorer
-
Evaluator
Best comment
I think throughout life one suffers from all the stated anxieties but as one grows older, more experience, encouragement, support one can jump from one to another leaving some, or most of the old feelings behind tucked away but they can rear their ugly feelings at times, it's trying to find a suppressant method.
I personally feel secure this has taken many years to develop gaining life experiences, knowledge and confidence so if the demons return I can cope with them to stop any damage they would like to do. Everyone is different.
whitecross1955
Good advisor
whitecross1955
Last activity on 21/08/2024 at 12:36
Joined in 2016
169 comments posted | 23 in the Depression Forum
7 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Good Advisor
-
Contributor
-
Committed
-
Explorer
-
Friend
I think I have had all the four distinct forms of attachment ,depends on your level of depression and how you deal with it. Lots have changed since the 1960s more information more insight into the different types of depression. The change from medication to zombie level ,to more talk therapy more understanding
BrianM
Good advisor
BrianM
Last activity on 02/10/2024 at 03:06
Joined in 2015
49 comments posted | 21 in the Depression Forum
7 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Good Advisor
-
Contributor
-
Committed
-
Explorer
-
Evaluator
-
Friend
i have the 4 distinct forms of attachment styles, as recognised by therapists, counsellors and mental health experts.
I have an anxious attachment, an avoidant (dismissive) attachment and a fearful- avoidant/disordered attachment .
I am unstable and insecure but I do not have a constant need for reassurance, in fact I do not seek any reassurance.
I am uncomfortable with closeness and emotional intimacy. I am anxious and insecure and I feel scared of intimacy and emotional closeness.
Of course this has effected my life in a big way, but now at age 79 I am much less afraid of the feelings. However being alienated from the human race, being unable to form normal friendship and being unable to have emotional intimacy and closeness has been difficult, as the "experts" tell us that we are all social beings, who have an instinctive urge for closeness with other human beings, an inherent need for friendship and intimacy. I do not have any close friends and my wife and I are unable to have a meaningful relationship because of my crippling emotional inadequacy.
See the signature
BrianM
Close all
See the responses
Pippadog
AmbassadorGood advisor
Pippadog
Ambassador
Last activity on 21/07/2024 at 22:45
Joined in 2016
190 comments posted | 7 in the Depression Forum
25 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Good Advisor
-
Contributor
-
Messenger
-
Committed
-
Explorer
-
Evaluator
@BrianM So sorry to hear about your predicament it must be or has been debilitating for both of you , you have managed to keep your marriage together which is a major achievement well done to you both.
tharrison
tharrison
Last activity on 22/09/2024 at 18:39
Joined in 2015
5 comments posted | 2 in the Depression Forum
2 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Explorer
@BrianM I hope you find some form of comfort in knowing you yourself are a survivor of a war within yourself. I do not know if you ever had any abuse or abandonment issues in your early life, or if you have ever looked to see if there is any form of clinical disorder within your medical history. However it sounds to me that the battles you have overcome has proven your inner strength is what has sustained you. Keep resisting the false messages you are receiving from yourself, for you are indeed a true loving person. Blocking emotions is something we never want none of us. Our social masks for many are now made of steel I too was a very driven person my inner fear of acknowledging my hidden wounds is what allowed me to perform while inside I was completely isolated from every person who showed me affection or kindness. Yet many would describe me as very loving giving and very approachable person. So my friend, do we continue to play a role? or do we take the risk and reveal our true self? it begins with you and you alone. Always bear in mind as a species we are all experts at the art of pretence so very few in life can truly be themselves without fear, and expose warts and all.
Hide the responses
tharrison
tharrison
Last activity on 22/09/2024 at 18:39
Joined in 2015
5 comments posted | 2 in the Depression Forum
2 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
-
Explorer
I have battled with this disorder for many years. I practiced as a Counsellor one to one and group support work. Over the years I developed a Life Coping Skill practice. In facing our pasts we can live in the present. I happened upon meditation in 1980. Transferring oneself through meditation helped very much my choice was an eagle, and in many times in life my eagle has taken me on his wings and allowed me to free myself of the present painful experience (lumber puncture, labour pains, dentist care etc). My living bereavement is something I knew I had to find a way to function every day to live in the moment. I would urge people who suffer as I did to reach out to whatever method suits them, most of all to learn to move breathe and be in the moment. Keep up the good work, this is my first time to express myself in this way. I can only say love yourself, everything which happens in life outside of the self can never be controlled only the I is the one that can change you from within.
Give your opinion
Members are also commenting on...
Living with anxiety and other mental illnesses
Suicidal thoughts, not coping, how to get treatment without carrying out my plans?
jenlei14
I take each day as it comes, try to have a focus for that day. Today is pretty good, but it gives me a nudge every now and again. H
See the best comment
Living with anxiety and other mental illnesses
Suicidal thoughts, not coping, how to get treatment without carrying out my plans?
jenlei14
I take each day as it comes, try to have a focus for that day. Today is pretty good, but it gives me a nudge every now and again. H
See the best comment
Articles to discover...
27/05/2024 | Procedures & paperwork
27/10/2023 | News
24/05/2023 | Testimonial
Multi conditions: “My voice is loud for those who have been silenced.”
12/03/2023 | News
27/06/2016 | News
People with depression are 60% more likely to develop diabetes
19/05/2017 | Testimonial
26/10/2018 | Advice
19/05/2017 | Testimonial
Medication fact sheets - patient opinions...
Subscribe
You wish to be notified of new comments
Your subscription has been taken into account
Polina.K
Community managerGood advisor
Polina.K
Community manager
Last activity on 11/08/2023 at 12:02
Joined in 2023
89 comments posted | 23 in the Depression Forum
12 of their responses were helpful to members
Rewards
Good Advisor
Contributor
Messenger
Explorer
Friend
Four distinct forms of attachment styles are recognized by therapists, counselors, and mental health experts. These characteristics or styles are based on attachment theory, which was initially put out by British psychotherapist John Bowlby in the 1960s.
Secure
Those who feel secure have healthy, realistic expectations that their own needs will be fulfilled as well as the ability to meet the needs of others.
Anxious
An anxious attachment is termed unstable and insecure with the constant need or reassurance.
Avoidant
Avoidant (also called dismissive) attachments style's main characteristic is being uncomfortable with closeness and emotional intimacy.
Fearful-Avoidant/Disordered
This attachment style is a mix of feeling anxious and insecure + feeling scared of intimacy and emotional closeness.
@sodowninsurrey @lesmal @TWWTS1 @anxietyisme @Tigger.co.uk @BrianM @disneychannelmogul @richard0804 @sophiesmum @Alquimist @Aallen @saalikkkk @sidiculous @Chilin @Chan989 @Michael4 @Jeanha @mervynandanne @robjmckinney @whitecross1955 @JazzyC @Pippadog
Which attachment style do you think you have? How does it affect your life and relationships? Let's talk!
Take care,
Polina from the Carenity team