Let's talk about carers!

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Courtney_J

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28/06/2022 at 22:06

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Courtney_J

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Hello dear members,

How have you been?

Today I'd like to talk about carers. emoticon handshake

Most of us here are patients, and we tend to talk about symptoms and treatments, related to our health conditions. But what about carers? A lot of Carenity members also care for their loved ones who are affected with chronic conditions.

Is this your case? Who do you care for? What is his or her condition? What is the most difficult aspect of being a carer, in your opinion? How do you manage both - take care of yourself and of your loved one?

Feel free to share your experience and your thoughts on the subject.

Thank you!

Courtney

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YorkshireJayne

Edited on 05/07/2022 at 09:40

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YorkshireJayne

Last activity on 12/05/2025 at 06:35

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I cared for my dad when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2009 for 11 short weeks; although I had "cared" for him since my mum's death in 2001, by doing his washing, ironing, cleaning and he came to us for a meal on Sunday. I had help from the local palliative care team (via my GP surgery and the local Sue Ryder hospice, they were in the main, brilliant; with the odd one or two who didn't really care, breezed in and out without doing anything, although they wrote in the diary that they had done a lot!) I made myself ill caring for him, letting my own care go by the wayside. I couldn't do it for a job, it was easy looking after my dad because I loved him, the intimate care didn't faze me, but doing it for a stranger would be different, no matter how much I got paid!

Now, my daughter is my carer and I feel so guilty sitting after the bits that I can do whilst she's still doing for me and she's in pain herself. We muddle on together, without any other outside help... for now.

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Life is for living, do it, no matter what!

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 07:23:37

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dpoc02

28/06/2022 at 22:29

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dpoc02

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I used to care for my aunt when she had cancer, before she passed away. Even though I wasn't doing it alone, I was helping my two cousins, we took turns, and I was young, in my 20s, I found it extremely tiring, and hard to deal with, psychologically speaking. She had terminal stage lung cancer, wasn't a pretty sight.. I loved my aunt.. All this to say that it's a demanding job, both physically and mentally, caring for a sick person.

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-06-28 22:29:08

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Courtney_J

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03/07/2022 at 22:26

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Courtney_J

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@dpoc02 hi, thank you for sharing! I am sorry to hear about your aunt!

I do agree with you, it is not an easy job to care for someone with chronic condition.

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Courtney_J, Community Manager, Carenity UK

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-03 22:26:43

MrsELarkin

04/07/2022 at 01:37

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MrsELarkin

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@dpoc02 Please accept my condolences regarding the loss of your Aunt! It can't have been easy, particularly as you were very young at the time. Your experience highlights exactly the hardship involved in being responsible as a carer in these circumstances! You stood up to the task and deserve to be congratulated for your efforts.

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EileenL

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 01:37:35

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Courtney_J

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03/07/2022 at 22:33

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Courtney_J

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just in case 😉

@lesmal @robjmckinney @sophiesmum @richard0804 @mikebpool @JazzyC @Pippadog @Tigger.co.uk @BAZWHEAT @Silverlady @KPangela @mr chipps @YorkshireJayne @Zaphod001 @shaz1964 @Pepper @mjteddy @Jules69 @DavidinaWyper @Paula11 @nanvanham @Lisatommo32 @NannieAnn @Jamesy7 @phillpott @Bigj1969 @Avrilb @Helen0604 @wednesday @RhianonT @lhickling @annturner @Jscotty78 @Yank34 @RobertLondon @L1th1um @Mrs E Larkin @Raythebaker @lacemaker @LadyRN

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Courtney_J, Community Manager, Carenity UK

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-03 22:33:01

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robjmckinney

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Edited on 06/07/2022 at 09:57

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robjmckinney

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@Courtney_J

Dealing with death and caring for love ones in both events is a labour of love. I consider it a privilage to taking care of my parents and in Laws in their last few years, a debt that can never be repaid. Death is a ugly experience but staying strong to help them in their final palative care is essential. The state provisions are poor and with the many mistakes of pain relief over recent years, causing reduced levels of morphine, so suffering the norm no matter how much you beg them.

Peace comes with coma as nature provides its own relief from pain that the NHS won't provide. But being there I consider my duty and loyalty to family, while others stay away, someone must provide comfort and care. In dealing with those last few years giving them joy, travel, holidays, care etc. a life in those last years instead of dumping them in a care home. A pride in something so heart breaking that you did your best and they were happy to the end!

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robjmckinney

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 01:34:37

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MrsELarkin

04/07/2022 at 01:49

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MrsELarkin

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My own experience is a rather mixed bag, so far as caring is involved! I relate to being a young Mum, expecting our second child when my childhood Epilepsy struck in abundance! Instantly I was a carer of a family whilst being cared for by them! This continued after my baby daughter was born, for 30 years until surgery came to our rescue. Caring for chronic illness is never straightforward but gladly can have a happy ending!

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EileenL

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 01:49:58

YorkshireJayne

Edited on 05/07/2022 at 09:40

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YorkshireJayne

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Life is for living, do it, no matter what!

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 07:23:37

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wednesday

04/07/2022 at 09:58

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wednesday

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@YorkshireJayne

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Pamela Greatorex

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 09:58:54

wednesday

04/07/2022 at 10:03

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wednesday

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I cared for my mum alongside my sister. She lived with my mum so had the lion's share. I'm time mum needed the care we could no longer give her and she went into a care home . She was only there a short time before passing away. It was never a burden but a privilege. I did the same for my husband's mum too. Hubby didn't have any siblings and she didn't live close by but we muddled on the best we could.

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Pamela Greatorex

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 10:03:05

mrchipps

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04/07/2022 at 15:00

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mrchipps

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@wednesday i did not care for my parents, i only cared for my lovely wife for a few weeks, but for me when you care for a loved one, you do it from deep in your heart and although you may know that they are soon to depart for heaven and live with the angels. you never will want to stop caring for them, and would willingly give your own last breath for their care and welfare, and you never want them to leave your life and world

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singing poet man

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-04 15:00:18

YorkshireJayne

05/07/2022 at 09:40

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YorkshireJayne

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@wednesday Erm...? 😀

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Life is for living, do it, no matter what!

Let's talk about carers! https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/good-to-know/lets-talk-about-carers-4681 2022-07-05 09:40:54

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