Love life in the face of illness: how to cope?

I have E. D. due to diabetes T2 and although I have been tali king with my girlfriend it is still difficult to come to terms with. 

As a man of 48 I never thought that I would have to deal with this but it is more difficult for my girlfriend to understand as she doesn't know about diabetes and how it affects the person who has it.

I have tried to explain it but it is upsetting for both of us. She has said she will stay with me and for that I truly love her. 

I was originally diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus,the only type of Diabetes in 1959,then research started and has continued to find other types,i am now classified as type 1.I can not remember when I was diagnosed with E.D,it was about 34 years ago.When I meet a female,i always pre warn them about it. One female,found it strange,i did not show any reaction,when she started to undress. As we spoke more,she came accept it.More is being published about it,with famous celebrities,also being diagnosed with it.I have tried different types of medication,but have just come to accept it and please females in other ways.

Hi @PACMAN‍  - Did you know that Diabetic Men can get on prescription Viagra from your GP for Erection Problems.

I have been to see GP, Sexual Health clinic, and Diabetic clinic and have had talk with them and been told I need to see a Urologist. Have appointment on 06/03/2019. Fingers, eyes and everything else crossed!

Have tried Sildenafil ( Viagra) and Tadalafil, nothing works!! See what my options are next. 

I was fully prepared to go it alone following my marriage breakdown 6 years ago and following several dates thereafter. One guy wined and dined me for a couple of months and he seemed ok about my MS, then he sent me a text to say it wasn't going to work as he'd noticed me limping on the last couple of dates and that he wanted someone he could go on walks with.  I was devasted, not because I was in love or anything but because it literally was down to my affliction. He was a nice guy and a was being completely honest but after that I thought I'm not bothering again and I didn't...for a while and then along came my partner  out of the blue following a meal with friends. I told him about my MS straight off and that I used a mobility scooter, his words were  and I quote " you can pick me up from the pub then!'  We have now been together 15 months. He helps me if I ask but he knows I'm independent and  he never smothers me or takes over or makes derogatory comments or accuses me of using my illness to not get intimate, unlike my ex husband. And now the funny thing is we have the most wonderful and caring sex life than I could ever have imagined. It is imperative to have a loving partner, someone who respects you. Someone who,  though can never understand what this disease can do to you as much as humanly possible. Someone to hug and cry with and talk to, communicating is key, that old chestnut but it is true. Dont settle for less than you deserve and do walk away from someone that doesn't respect you or at least try and understand you and care for you. Relationships and sex can happen with the right partner. Hope this helps someone 😊

I used to have a very healthy sex life. That all changed in 2008, actually the last time that I remember being a 'naughty boy' was in June of that year. My GP referred me to the Cardiac Consultant at my local hospital for tests regarding possible Angina. My wife said that she would drive as we had to travel 23 miles to hospital, we were about five miles from our destination when I felt these terrific pains in my left arm, this was at   10-40 am.  I said to my wife 'Forget Cardio go straight to A&E'. We arrived at A&E at     10-55 am, I remember getting out of the 'Land Cruiser' and starting to stagger to the door, when a trolley and three people appeared, I remember going through the door (over the bumps) and then a Doctor administering 'Morphine' and 'Hepron'. That's all I can remember until I woke up in the I.C.U. Later I was shown two copies films of my heart just after my Heart Attack and one 16 minutes later when blood flow had restored to normal, I was told that in theory I had 'died' for 16 minutes. I was 'Blue's and Two'sed' to Southampton where I underwent surgery and had Two Stents fitted. My Blood pressure decided to play 'silly beggars' and not come down, so I spent the next two days in hospital.

After I had been home about three or four weeks, I was feeling a little amorous and my wife said. 'You can forget that matey, I don't want you popping your clogs just for getting your leg over'. I would rather be a 'Nun' than risk losing you'. So you see I have been a good boy and kept it in my trouser's ever since. Honest.   If ever the subject comes up in conversation as you know it does sometimes. I say 'I used to stir me tea with it, Now? I can't even reach the bloody tea'., and that is that.

We have abstained since June 2008 and I can honestly say that I haven't missed it. My wife being 18 years my junior say's that she has her 'little friend' if she feels the urge. (That's why we're always buy batteries?...lol..lol). We have both said that our love for each other has grown stronger and that our love manifests in other ways.

You DON'T NEED SEX to be Happy and have a fulfilling life together?

@richard0804 @Happyjack @PACMAN @Liam2863 @isophane @PACMAN Thank you all for sharing, it is interesting to hear about everyone's different experiences concerning this subject and differnt impacts! 

Love is an emotion that is loyal no matter what we suffer from! So none of the above complaints only have nothing to do with Love in a lovely way. :) 

I have Parkinson's. This can result in an increase (or decrease) in libido because of the effects of dopamine. Researchers have long known that dopamine plays a key role in driving behaviour related to pleasurable goals, such as food, sex and social interaction. In general, increasing dopamine boosts the drive toward these stimuli. 

My husband  very caring and understanding he never puts pressure on me as he understands  how I feel  sex isn't everything  it's how one another feels about each other I love just to cuddle up as I suffer with loads of illnesses  and he understands  how I feel ,to me that is love it's the little things that matter to me and to him to he is my rock and my soul mate I love him to infinity and beyond also I am to old now anyway and he feels the same way I have the perfect husband he is my carer and my world lots of love tiggs