We are stronger together in the face of illness!

@Courtney_J Oh this is lovely. I have fibromyalgia and ulcerative colitis and at times I've felt so down and alone. Being here in this community does help me understand my conditions better and getting to talk with others who sometimes have my illness but other times have others has been wonderful. 

This year has been so difficult on us all, let's hope that better things are coming! At the end of each day, even if I'm having a flare, I try to name at least three good things about the day, and while sometimes it's hard to thing of things and it seems silly, it does help me put things into perspective. 

Take care everyone!

Enjoy the subject matter... Thank you, Courtney! 

I'm a 'happy go lucky' person and take life as it comes. Having epilepsy for so many years has made me accept it, be independent and face the challenges of today, tomorrow and the outside world! 

I love helping other people whether it is through social media, voluntary editing or other voluntary work. We all have health issues, some better than others, but my attitude is to face it and carry on! 

Hi Courtney

I hope all is well with you and yours? All well here in the west of the UK.

I think that ignorance of other people makes you feel ostracised and lonely. Just because we have a debilitating disease or illness doesn’t make us any less a person with social needs. I have found that just because I don’t have a hunched back or awkward gait or an involuntary shake that people think that there is nothing wrong with me. A bit like the duckling who looks so serene gliding across the pond, but her little feet are going like the clappers to get her across to mum.

Get to know the person then you will see the needs that they have, both physical and emotional. Many of us look for the outward signs of disability or illness, but more often than not it is within. Depression is one of the main causes of suicide amongst older people, they feel left out by their families and society. A friend of mine is 85 years old, he lost his wife 10 years ago and still can’t manage to do a lot of things for himself. He lives off bacon rolls at a roadside caravan, most days. Sometimes he will get a pork pie and some crisps, or some other ‘fast foods’ because he has never had to fend for himself before his wife did everything. We have a totally different outlook on life than the older generation, theirs was the man goes to work and the wife looks after the home and cooks the food, very outdated, but that’s how it was years ago.

He has a daughter in the same town as him, but she only has time for herself and family. His son only comes to visit every 4 or 5 months in his own words, I quote ‘I only come to check on my inheritance not for him, unless he has something that I want’. Usually money, even though he works full-time. 

He gets very depressed, especially since the pandemic outbreak. I used to phone every couple of weeks to see how he was, but since March either I have phoned him or he me every night at 21.00hrs to check that we are OK? He often says that he’s fed up with life living on his own, nobody to talk to, the neighbours have their own busy lives, so he is left on his own. I honestly believe that if we didn’t chat every night for at least 50 minutes, he would have done something by now.

There are lots of lonely elderly people out there in society that could do with a friend for a chat or who would visit now and then? Many people of all different walks of life who have their problems and are struggling to live life. Just a friendly chat or some sign that you care, makes all the difference to a lonely person? Young or Old?

STAY SAFE out there people.

THINK POSITIVE

Happy days. Richard

I get tired of emailing about myself, so I do not write to others about myself, as I feel writing about issues is not a solution and can be demoralising if we are not doing anything much; it is best to try and do anything and not succeed rather than just write about it.  I grew up in a family  where I experienced much childhood emotional neglect, so I never felt confident to make friends.  I do not have any outside interests or friends. I live with my wife who is 10 years younger than me; I am 76., and she likes to live her own life.  I try to do things in the garden for therapy, go walking if I can or do a little shopping. I like a simple life, and since the covid 19 most people are probably living simply.  I using to pay for counselling but I found the counselling not very good as they are not qualified in psychoanalysis and their counselling is about simple living without understanding the origin and causes of my stress and depression. Sometimes they just say to forget about the past and try and construct a new image. Lately I am slowing down a lot physically so I must take it easy.

Hello Courtney, it's so nice to connect with people who understand what it is to live with chronic illness, even if they don't have the same illness as me. It does a world of good, truly. Just getting some sunshine in the garden each day and spending time with my husband brings me joy. I try to take pleasure in the little things. Some days are harder than others and I let myself have a "sad day" every now and then and we are all of course allowed to have those days. But I try to count my blessings and it helps. 

Well having a partner and extended family we never seem to be lonely despite isolating so no real experience of such issues. Never a day goes by when someone wants something or arranging for a service. I have to agree that living alone might be an issue for some or indeed the various medical issues that require attention. But all in all I suppose I am lucky in a way that loneliness is not an issue. It will be nice for my wife and I to have some peace and quiet but even at my static we are expecting family. 

@Courtney_J‍ 

Hi Courtney

How are you today? I am keeping myself busy with chores in the house and exercises. I spend quite a bit of time looking after my husband who has AF, Hypothyroidism, COPD, Asthma Lung damage, Kidney failure and back problems with wear and tear of his lower lumbar and upper sacral spine. So I do a fair bit to help him, with his medication, exercises, help with his daily personal care. He has very swollen feet due to Kidney failure and the skin on his feet is peeling and shedding and I have to moisturize them with oily cream. All this keeps me very busy. Having been cooped up for 4 months with shielding has not affected me much as I am keeping busy all the time. How ever I do miss my gym and swim as well as going to church due to Pandemic. I take each day as it comes, and thank God every morning for giving us the gift of life for another day, and every night for getting us through the day. I find that reading every one else's post on Crenity community and helping, advising where needed or asked for, is very rewarding. We are all in it together and we are all here to help and support each other.

have a fantastic day every one. Take care and stay safe. 

I have just had a really bad ibs flare up. I just seem to get over one thing when another starts up, I have RA, fibro, Asthma, heart disease etc. On the positive side, I was able to walk my 2 labs 5 days in a row, this does so much for my mental wellbeing . I am lucky enough to live beside the sea so love just sitting on a bench with my 2 boys by my side looking out at the views. It is hard but I try to get out as much as possible. K

Hi, 

I suffer with severe asthma amongst  to other Heath conditions i.e. a protruding disk in the L1 S5 region in the lumber section of my back and suffer with chronic pain and have peripheral arterial desease and nerve problems in both my hands and am on 3 different inhalers as well as about 31 pills a day to fucntion both physically and mentally.

At the start of March litterally just before before lockdown I lost my grandmother to pnemonia in a care home  and had to say goodbye via FaceTime which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life and decided I was going to stay with family in the south of England however they live 160 miles away from me and  I was advised to come home sooner rather than later by health care professionals to shield even before lockdown was introduced to the nation.

 On the 30/03/2020 due to stats being O2 86% and pulse of 120 And I felt like I couldn’t breath properly I had to call paramedics out and then I had another episode in may where they wanted to admit me in to A&E and I refused and got put on tablet steroids for 5 days which helped. However taken two covid-19 tests and both times and they came back negative, so Asthma it was.

I am A 35 year old male who’s lives alone and due to lockdown and shielding I decided to volunteer as an NHS Check in & Chat Responder because I wanted to help out in the current crisis, but also occupy my time too,  however it’s been very quiet, so I thought I would use my skills for a support group around mental health, domestic vioence and domestic abuse on face book, whereby I was made one of the an admins of the group because I’m dbs checked and the founders of this group felt I had the skills and experience to be one of the admin team of this group  due to my past employment history and my own personal experiences around mental health,  having ADHD and PTSD due multiple assaults, some being sexual ,others not and suffering with major anxiety and depression.

I have stuck to the governments shielding guidelines to a T, although I live alone and in a high rise block of flats on Manchester and I’m quite high up. The long and short of it all is that this fb group advised they had become a charity but neeeded to raise £5k to become a registered charity by which I donated to, The day after my birthday in June, the female founder called and requested that I leave the group (which I was so passionate about and even saved two peoples life’s over video call and even gave 1-1 support to people) advising me that I didn’t suit the group but they loved the person who I am. I was  so upset as it was keeping me busy, however I soon found out it was a scam and it’s really set me back to the point I’m too scared to go out and have had to involve the police, fraud squad as well as the charity commissioners.

i have called my local community mental health crisis team who have referred me to the local authority’s safeguarding team aka social services as this has affected my mental health on a very high level to the point that I am very close to breaking point.

What they have done was and is illegal as they were and still are  calling themselves a charity where no application had been put through the charity Commissioners at all and to become a registered charity with a registered charity number,  you need to fund the £5K yourself or have to be sponsered which can take up to two years. Asking the public in general to help them fundraise this amount to become a charity is illegal (especially asking vunerable adults with mental health issues, physical health issues and mental scarring ) which is even worse. 

 So all in all they have raised £8k (including some donations from myself)

With the global pandemic of covid-19 and me being clinically extremely vunerable I don’t feel safe to go outside although I can go out side I have chosen not to due to feeling of anxiety about covid-19 and the tramatic events I’ve recently  expecienced.

Having to stay in for so long has caused me to become agoraphobic as well as very lonely and isolated at the same time and feel that there is no point in living a life where I can’t go out because I’m too afraid to because of this virus which has caused havoc on the world and the fact that I’ve been financially manipulated, groomed to trust the founders (to the point they tried to make me act like them )was the last thing I needed on top of shielding and I feel that speaking to friends and family is very difficult as they do not understand my situation and they tell me “ just ignore it” or “i told you not to get involved” which obviously isn’t a help to me when I’m feeling in a very low place.

I’ve have even called the  mental health crisis team multiple time’s including today and other days as I am struggling to cope with so much weight on my shoulders, by which they were not much help and just said they will refer me to have a care co-ordinator which could take weeks which bothers me a little because everything is taking longer because of covid-19.

I just feel like I can’t trust any one any more. Having severe asthma with PTSD and ADHD, my anxiety is so so high and my heart rate is constantly tachycardic and my BP and O2 levels are up and down like a yo-yo and even writing this has been very difficult as my senses are all over the place and my fight and flight responses are very high.
I’m struggling to eat and a drink and have lost a lot of weight because of all these events. I feel like I’m not getting the proffesional support I need and the police and safeguarding have spoken to me once and say they will get me the support I need, also victim suppprt were not much help either and I know i have done everything in my power  to put things in place to try and help my self and the situation I am in however I feel like I’ve just been pushed to one side. Sorry for the essay however I felt that I needed to express how I feel right now as all of this has affected friendships and affected me on both a mental, emotional and physical basis and i just don’t want other vunerable people to fall in the same predicaments and traps  I’ve been placed in and to be extra vigilant.

im so sorry for babbling on I just needed to get it out and I thought it would make me feel better however it hasn’t 😔