Depression.

Glad to hear from those who are feeling better and poss turning a corner. I went to see my gp last week and they suggested I be referred to the local mental health team. Instead I opted for a self referral group which are going to get back in touch with me in a couple of weeks.  So chin up and keep smiling to us all we all know things cant get any worse for any of us so we should look forward to dealing with some good times ahead instead of bad times that may never happen.

Hi Bexstar, Great to read that you are feeling a little brighter. It is also good to know that you are getting help. Please try not to look so far ahead regarding the diazepam; by the time you will be due to reduce/withdraw you should be in a better place mentally. Remember,little by little, day by day. 

You can get through this awful illness although I really understand that you probably  can't see anything ever changing whilst you are in this dark place; but it can and will.

Just embrace all the help available 100%, along with small steps on your own.

I am sure in time when the new medication is in your system, you will start to feel stronger.

Talk, talk + keep talking as this really is the best way forward.

Always here for you to chat/support. 

I really do care ; as I know from my own personal experience ; along with a partner who is going through the same dark tunnel that I went through what a lonely, frightening, dark, painful place it can be.

Big hugs

Julie xx 

Hi Julie, yes I wish I'd got myself this help long ago then maybe things wouldn't have got so far, but at the time you do what you thinks best. I'll keep what you've said in mind regarding diazepa, been lucky enough the last 2 nights not to need it but I know it's there if I do. Drs are visiting tonight, im sure they'll be glad I haven't needed to medicate every night. Thank you for your support it really has meant a lot to me xx

Don't look back regarding your recovery. The important thing is that you are now ready to accept /embrace help. 

There does come a time that you know within that you need help and are ready to take it. As you state ,you do what you think is right at the time. I know that I told others + myself that "I was fine/coping' when in fact I wasn't.

Just remember to make time for "you', be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that you are a good person in times of low self esteem.

Great news that you haven't relied on your medication but be careful that you don't fall too low mood wise.

You really will get to were you need to be mentally/spiritually.

Little by little, day by day.

Hope to read about your journey to a brighter place.

Big hugs and well done  Bexstar.

I just wish I could get a little more me time as much as I love my wife and kids I find that I don't have time to myself which I miss. Its getting harder to get as working more hours in work due to a new vehicle launch. So in one way its great for me its bad because when im on nights before the extra hours is when I used to have the me time .

Good luck to you all and keep talking as there is always someone who will listen.

Hi Alunsue; You need to be stern with yourself and find those precious moments for yourself no matter what. It doesn't mean that you love your family any less, in fact due to your overwhelming love it is even more important that you find the time to focus on "you" enabling you to give 100% to your family .

Go for a short walk, spend  that little bit longer soaking in the bath, read a book; something no matter how small is better than nothing and ending up burning out both mentally and physically.

It doesn't have to be a vast amount of time as long as it is "you"time.

When we are used to doing for others , finding time to do things for "us" is hard, especially as we aren't used to giving ourselves that time. You need to be a little selfish ;all for the right reasons.

I really do hope that you manage to find this valuable time and devote it all to "you"; You,as a loving father/husband deserve it ;something that no one can deny you.

Stay well. Always here for support.

Julie x

Hi guys, Alunsue do try to get time for yoursel, like Julie said, even if it's small amounts here and there to put yourself first each bit will count. 

So ive had the Drs over tonight and they're going drop their visits to every other day which is good I guess. Im not best pleased right now as they've involved child services and I will be getting a phone call from them tomorrow morning and I'm not sure what to expect.  I've always taken care of my children and put them first but I suppose when you go to a'n'e for mental health they're obliged to check you're taking care of your kids when you're unwell. Well hopefully they'll see my 3 are well taken care of and aren't going to add more pressures to my already over thinking mind ? 

Feeling low but still no anxiety attacks so that's a good sign. If either Julie or alunsue ever want to message me for someone to talk to feel free to add me on Facebook guys ?

Hi Bexstar, It is a positive that your home visits have dropped. Please try not to worry about the children's services . They will be following policies. They aren't there to catch you out, they really are there to help you ;so accept any offer available.

You are ill and not a bad person so they really are there to help; if they can in any way.

Great news that your anxiety levels aren't getting the better of you. Just concentrate on your breathing when you can feel your stress/anxiety levels starting to rise. This will not only encourage you to breath correctly but it will also give you something to focus on.

Hope that all goes well + today is gentle on you.

Julie x

Thanks for your support and kind and constructive words. I actually had a melt down episode in work yesterday. Luckily I work with great staff who understand my problem and are great with me. But it does make me feel uncomfortable.

Hope you all going the right way in keeping well. xxx

Good Morning alunsue; Sorry to read that you had a difficult day yesterday but nice to know that you have good work colleagues. You can't help being ill , so please be gentle on yourself; at least they do understand.

The important message here is to take time out just for you. You need to be what you probably struggle with as you are a husband + dad and that is being selfish just for a little while .

I do hope that today is gentle for you. Please try and take some time out just for you; no matter how small.

Little by little, day by day. Keep chatting.

Big hugs.

Julie x