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Does talking to others help you?
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Go to the last commentUnregistered member
hi i have no problems talking to people and i do have people to talk to but it don't help me at all. i feel like i have not explained myself properly, most of my friends are not sure what to say then awkward.( medical people shrink etc) sorry my spelling ain't good that's why i have put shrink etc, i have my sister to talk to i'm not shy and i just say it has it is i'm a honest person. but it works for others .like taking depression tablet's we are all different but some ppl don't understand that but i don't understand why they can't it would be boring if we were all the same, i have alot of dissabilites so found this hard hope u understand what i'm saying thank you xx
StumpyDavies
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StumpyDavies
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It's not easy to talk to others, I guess sometimes fear takes over, sharing in a safe and on njudgemental environment, anonymously, like carenity, definitely helps, it gives new perspective, and more positive ways of dealing with any problems, from a fresh set of eyes, and fresh thought from someone not previously connected to me, and my difficulties
I usually prefer to talk to my counsellor's or support workers about things that worry me, but failing that, friends or others on forums like here at carenity or other forums I frequent, or even the Samaritans during times of desperation
It definitely helps me feel less isolated, when I'm at my worst, and struggling to leave the house, I'll never regret finding this forum, I'm grateful it exists
*Hugs wrapped neatly with Love*
Stumpy. X
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Stumpy...x
itgetsbetter
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itgetsbetter
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I totally agree that talking and sharing your experiences does help you. Talking helps you to overcome whatever issues you may be struggling with. The great thing about being on this site is that you realize that you are not alone in what you may be going through/feeling.
The more you are able to open up then I personally found that my issues didn't have as much impact on my well being.
We all don't know each other ,which is good as we can be honest regarding how we are feeling without the fear of upsetting those nearest and dearest to us.
xx
JazzyC
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JazzyC
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Talking to others does help but I find it hard face to face as I either clam up and can't find the right words or I start crying .That is why I write poetry to express my feelings and frustration s which I can share with others if I want .Carenity and other online forums are ideal for me as I can talk to others without feeling embarrassed or emotional . I find the support and the realisation that I am not alone so invaluable
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Janet Collins
maddoglady
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maddoglady
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At the risk of sounding like an out and out weirdo I honestly don't get this it's important to talk about one's feelings thing! I've never felt the need, I'm not knocking it, whatever floats your boat but it isn't for me. From the outset, I've gone my own way and done what works for me and been treated like an oddity because of it. Could that be because the cancer patients handbook states that all patients "need" to talk. I'm assuming that's why treatment rooms are set up with all the chairs in an inward facing circle so everyone will chat and share experiences.
I have always subscribed to the "pull yourself together woman and get on with it" school of thought! Fortunately I recognise that attitude will upset and offend others so I tend to keep my head down and mind my own business. I haven't met anyone else who shares my views and I know that my specialist nurse totally despairs of me!
When I feel stressed or worried I listen to music or take the dogs for a walk, or even thump the living daylights out of my punching, now that always relieves tension.
Fortunately we are all different and we all have different coping strategies.
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Saralf
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I find taking time people some time helps but then I worry incase they think I'm just moaning.
JazzyC
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Further to my earlier post and I know people will think me weird , the one person I talk to constantly is my granddad .The only problem there is that he has been dead for over 30 years but I have one favourite photo of him and when I am really struggling I will get it down and talk to it . I know he is listening , when my mum was dying I asked him to tell her it was time to let go .2 nights later she died but the last person she talked about before she went to sleep was my granddad , her dad . Just before he died I took my then boyfriend to meet him and he told me to hang onto him as he was a good in .35 years later we are still happily married , my granddad died 2 weeks before we got married ,it felt like he was saying Jan will be looked after now I don't need to worry I can die in peace .
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Janet Collins
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Jazzy C, not weird at all, you do whatever brings you comfort. Your grandad sounds like he was a strong personality in life, why shouldn't that vitality still be around for you now xx
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Maddoglady!
StumpyDavies
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StumpyDavies
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Of course I didn't stop to think that others can mean anything, so yes something else that helps, is talking to my dog (Scooby), my 4 legged friend is unconditional love , wrapped in a bundle of fur, and if I talk to him, he listens attentively, as though he understands, and always knows what mood I'm in, and will generally try to lick me and be comforting if I'm upset, will just lay with me if I'm physically ill, and will greet me with a toy to play with if I'm in a perky and energetic mood, if I'm frightened he stands and guards, and will bark and growl if other people try to come near, if I'm tired, he'll lay and share his warmth with me, even allowing me to rest my head on him like a pillow, and the best thing is he's loyal, as I can tell him anything, and he can't tell a soul
I also have my new found love of Buddha whom I also talk to, either my Jade Thai Buddha statue, another Thai Buddha statue, that I might see somewhere, or a picture of a Thai Buddha, or the Thai Buddha on my amulet, purchased from a temple I visited whilst in Thailand, he makes me feel better, calmer somehow, I believe he brings me luck, talking to him definitely helps, I think it's more from a comfort point of view, it's given me something to believe in, a new avenue to vent my thoughts and feelings
So nothing you express here could possibly seem weird in comparison with what I think and feel helps, I've even been known to talk to a teddy bear, I collect teddy bears, I have over 3000, and I will quite often choose one to cuddle and talk to, only when laying in bed, and when I'm alone of course, but I guess it does help a little, maybe not a lot, but a little, it's better than holding my thoughts inside
But this still can't be beaten by talking to my counsellor, that is the ultimate release, and vent, like opening the valve on a pressure cooker, and my counsellor gives a good hug too after an emotional exchange, something I rarely get in life
Everybody loves a hug, hence I'm always giving virtual hugs, their not as good as the real thing, but still stacked full with the same intent
*Hugs wrapped with Love as always*
Stumpy. x x
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Stumpy...x
itgetsbetter
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Jazzy C; I completely agree ;there is nothing weird about talking to deceased members of your family or friends. I truly believe that they walk beside us every day and remain with us to watch over/guide us.
If you get a real sense of comfort then what can possibly be wrong ? Nothing.
I agree with Stumpy; my dog really is my best friend ; in times of absolute despair she would sense it and still does.
What a boring place the world would be if we were all the same. As the saying goes;
Variety is the spice of life.
Have a good day ladies and take care when out and about whilst Doris is in full swing. x
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Margarita_k
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The purpose of Carenity is to offer you a space for sharing experiences, opinions, joys and fears related to your conditions. We believe that it could help you feel less isolated and accept your disease.
Talking can help you clarify your thoughts, worry less about your problems and look at them from another angle.
Is it easy for you to talk to others? How does sharing help you? Who do you prefer to talk to about things that worry you?