Depression.

hello I'm new here, it's kinda nerve wracking. Any way so my depression is getting real bad at the moment and I am a single parent to 3 teens, my older 2 have high functioning autism, my eldest also has depression, anxiety, violent ocd and has suffered psychosis in the past. So I keep going for them but I was wondering how others cope when they have kids to care for, when the urge to end your life is an almost constant. Sometimes trying to act all happy and normal around them just drains me so much. I think they notice though as I might try to be all casual but I do find myself staring into space and not realising they've said something to me. So any advice anyone might have would be appreciated. Thanks. 

Hi Bexta and welcome to the group. My heart goes out to you, it must be so hard coping . You really need to get help for you before you totally burn out.

It is hard to be 'there' for everyone else when you probably feel that there is no one for you. 

Pleas for you own well being go to the GP and ask for help.

Big hugs. x

Thanks for the reply, I did go and see my gp back in January and she just got me to fill out a form then said tablets or councellor, I went with tableys so I've been on sertraline but I've had delayed side effects so have come off them, I guess I'll just see how it goes from now. Take care all. 

Hi Bexstar,

There are so many tablets that you could go on. I am on Citalopram. It didn't solve my problems but they did ease my frantic mind enabling me to focus on my issues. Talking really is a great tool and it is free. This site is a great place to be for support. My partner who has a terminal illness along with depression has just been informed that there is a 16 week waiting list for counselling on the NHS. A cancer charity is now offering him counselling and Macmillan are due to visit. 

Please remember how important you are and so take the time out to look after yourself and grasp all help offered. Return to your GP, as they really can help you along with talking/self help /counselling to get to a better place mentally/physically.

Always here if you want to chat.

xxx

Hi, I'm glad your husband is getting the help he needs. I'm taking my 2 younger kids on holiday in a few days, hoping I stay how I am now, just kinda more up than down. I'lol probably go back to my gp after our holiday, but I don't think I'll do the talking therapy, I'd be way to worried about them calling social services if they find out I'm suicidal. Maybe I'll try new meds if my mood drops to low again. Until then I'll just keep going, for my children and my pets. 

You know a big thing that gets me down is that I'm 36 but I have no future of my own. Now I love my children with all my heart and soul but my 18year old will never be independen, ever. He can't even go out on his own. Then I feel guilty for thinking like that as he's my son then it all starts again, like a vicious circle. I love my son but he can be such hard work, i can only have a few visitors who understand his condition so it's a pretty lonely life. Anyway thank you for replying, I wish you and your husband all the best. 

hi Bexstar with the life you have, any person would eventually feel the way you do to a certain extent, you are only human after all and sometimes we all need a helping hand.

When it comes to your kids reality tends to be forced on you but at the end of the day you do have the strength somewhere. I gave up my life for my kids after their mother had an affair but used my disability to try and take my girls away from me, I fought for nearly five years through court and lost everything in the process but i found the strength and now have sole custody even after suicide attempts!

You do have the strength and please dont dismiss talking therapy, They wont involve social services just because you have suicidal thoughts. You would be surprised how many parents have them. The feelings you have need to be let out properly or will eat away at you and make you worse.

Try giving your local MIND a call for advice they offer support and even counselling if you wish but please talk.

I`m a 46 year old bloke with two teenage daughters and i am now petrified of women and any kind of relationship so not much hope for me lol

take care

phil 

Hi Bexter, What sort of day have you had? Please don't dismiss talking, even if it is on here. As long as you are talking then that will help you to curb your suicidal thoughts. The good things is that no one knows you personally and so you can say whatever you wish without being judged but only supported.

You do have a life ; none of us have a crystal ball. I honestly thought that no one would ever love me again. I couldn't envisage actually meeting anyone. 

I was so wrong and like you I didn't feel that I had a future. Try not to look too far ahead.

Phi; Take note; I too felt like you but I have been proved to be wrong. Please believe that there really are some lovely ladies out there. You seem like a genuine caring man and so i hope that you soon find happiness/romance .

Take care. 

Julie x

I have self harmed lately  with boiling water on my hand because frustration sadness  wanting a girlfriend female friends very badly lonely  want a lap dance  cry alot cry seeing young couples everywhere  i go had enough  want to cuddle a young female saw a young couple kissing had a cry kept kicking a bin  pointless  being  alive  when feel  hurt everyday 

My best advice would be give it time to introduce another woman into you're daughters lives 

Hi all this is just a rant really . I was signed  of work 4 months ago due to my mum passing away . My mood is very down at mo . Due to being  in different location I am finding it hard to get support  . I know I will survive  as I have done in the past but it just annoys me when my partner really does not understand and says pull yourslef  together . I am also fighting  the urge to self harm again .