Feel like crap

Hi Jon, I do hope that you can take on board the advice that Phil has given you. You should concentrate on being happy with yourself. Do things that will make you happy, laugh or smile. 

You may surprise yourself at just how infectious laughter is.

Making the time to actually smile or even say "Hello, how are you today"does have a positive affect.

Try not to concentrate on what you want, but on what you have and build on it.

If you have the right approach especially a happy go lucky one, then you will attract the sort of people that you are looking for.

Have fun on a daily basis and the rest will follow.

Life is too short to waste your time sat focusing on the need for a girlfriend; be content for the moment on having female friends.

Your desperation may be frightening them away.??

Try to relax and enjoy just having a happy ,calm attitude with both male and females.

Take Care. x

I'm back in the land of the living! I was in County Donegal for a week and to say the break away by the coast was amazing and relaxing is an understatement. It has being drilled into many of us to think it is selfish to look after ourselves and have me time but I totally disagree, EVERYONE deserves a break and to recharge the batteries. I have promised myself if it is only for an hour here and there each week or more at weekends I am going to take time out for me...and of course bring my camera!

Love to you all xx :-)

well done Susan, I`m learning to have me time too after so many years of being accused of selfishness. I spent so long doing things for others i forgot about me, its very liberating. 

I find it difficult to be assertive and find some me time,from an early age I've put others before myself,sometimes it's appreciated and other times it isn't. I'm 47 now and it's only since my divorce 8 years ago that I've learned the importance of looking after myself as well as everyone else.

Great post Susan. We are often too busy trying to look out for others that we forget about the importance of taking time out to look after ourselves.

Spending time doing the usual daily events/actions can leave us feeling drained and tired which then becomes a cycle, resulting in us becoming disillusioned in life.

Taking time out for ourselves is so important , doing things no matter how small is a must. Even if it just going for a walk.

Days away are a real bonus. I too, put everyone before me; something I still do but not to such a great extent as I used too.

Everyone deserves down time.

I have been busy booking breaks away for the next few months which is giving me/partner something to look forward too. I still felt guilty booking my leave off work though, as last year I didn't use all my holidays up and so lost them and this year I have only taken 1 days holiday!! 

Hope that you are having a good day and are basking in the sunshine.

 Big hugs; Julie x

Hi all, 

Yes Kuckles and Em82023 I too have ALWAYS put other people before me and hence why I ended up where I was. I have been signed off work for 2 yrs this coming October now and it was because of just that. I am now at a stage where I am looking at returning to work but on a 3 day basis so I can take those two days for me. I have realised the importance of keeping my own health as a priority in order to still help others when I can. Damn right it is NOT an easy road but if it wasn't easy I wouldn't be the person I am today. If depression has taught me anything it is that I am stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for and I can get through it, it is important that we remember to be gentle with ourselves. I would never tell someone oh get over it or get a grip so why do it to myself anymore. I have also learnt to accept it is okay to have bad days and now I let myself have those days knowing and reminding myself I will come out the other side. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF WITHOUT GUILT.

Have a great day everyone and remember we are all only human and it's okay not to be okay but know it can only get better xxxx

Julie, 

Since I joined this forum you have ALWAYS being so friendly, welcoming and just great comments. I think you were in fact the first person who engaged with me here in conversation and I just want to acknowledge that and say a huge thank you. Your words are always so helpful and said with what I read as genuine and caring.

Thank you again for that. Have a great morning,

hugs, Susan xx

Thank you so much for your very kind words Susan. I understand how hard it can be to stay positive when even getting out of bed can be so hard, if not impossible at times.

I do care about other people and always strive to be approachable/friendly to every one else. 

The great thing regarding being on this forum proves that there are people who understand your pain/dark ,heavy thoughts/emotions. 

I hope that my comments do prove that there really is a great life out there....in time. Everyone can get to where I am in my life by being gentle with themselves and accepting/embracing all the help available; including self help.

Keep posting Susan, my lovely carenity friend and thank you so much for taking the time to message your appreciation. Always here to chat to anyone.

It is always good to chat 

Big hugs wrapped with love. 

Julie xxx