My boyfriend suffers from severe depression and has pushed me away
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and he's had his highs and lows, as to be expected. Recently he lost an old friend abruptly to a car crash, and he's spiraled over the past month. The past few weeks he's voiced how unhappy he is, and now he wants to move out to work on himself alone. I can understand, and I'm willing to give him time and space, but I'm devastated at the same time. I'm so scared to loose him once he leaves the house. How can I support him without putting too much pressure on him? I've always done my best to support him, but I'm unsure how to do so from a distance without creating too much distance. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I don't have the answer but I'll try to give some advice...
I would say continue with what you're doing, although I can definitely see how scary this situation is. Make sure to stay in regular contact, but it might help to be clear that he doesn't have to respond if he doesn't feel up to talking. I think sometimes the pressure of having to talk can be too much, even though at the same time it's helpful to have someone there to talk to.
The time apart could be just what he needs to come to terms with his feelings. There's no reason he won't miss spending so much time with you, and I hope that's the case. If your worries are true then at least you know that you've done all you can to support him, unfortunately sometimes these things don't work out And that's just how it is.
Best of luck for the both of you!
Don't hesitate to share your advice on how to help a loved one suffering from depression. Caregivers and family members are also in need of help and support.
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I am 60+ years old, so I've lived and learned quite a lot, and still on the mountain bike daily.
I am new to the Carenity website, this is my first post, although I have been advising on a Hyperacusis 'over sensitive hearing forum for over a year now where there is plenty of depression, which I recovered from both a few years ago. I have been looking for a well designed website to post on for a week, that's what I do for a living so i'm very particular what I look at design/navigation wise...
Here goes. This is a different approach to what most people offer...
Positive Energy to heal - I have been researching for well over a year now. Although I can't advise you with the loss of a friend, only time will help heal there.
If you realise that every one of us has a physical body, your soul inside, then inside is our spirit, then you can understand that our 'system' is 100% energy based.
On the coast, the wind, sand, sea, rocks, birds 'all' 100% energy...
So, we need positive energy to function well - the more the better. Your boyfriend, with all he has gone through will have a large proportion of negative energy in his 'system' - the way to remove the negative is bring in positive energy, and it pushes out the negative, bit by bit, immediately in times of happiness, which eventually makes people stronger.
Here comes the hard part to get smiles going and good thoughts which brings in positive energy to be strong...
Getting out walking with nature is good - deep breaths and leave the mobile phone while walking to give your mind/brain chance to reboot. We'll see if this message gets removed, if I've stepped out of line with something, good luck.
If I can be given chance to help people, I would hope to get some good replies so I can help my local Church with a weekly sessions with 'Positive Energy to Heal' various health issues.
@Steve1953 Thanks for giving your advice to @megshmee, it is always great to support and advice each other through the hard times and know that we are never alone.
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Josephine, Community Manager
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