finding it so hard can someone please give me a little help
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i am finding it so hard right now i am a 27 year old mum of two doing all i can do... i am under immense pain/stress & pressure.. and i feel all alone because i can't look to my husband for help as at the top of the hat he's tearing me down for no reason saying that i don't do this i don't do that when he's here but with a prolapse disc i am doing my best to do everything as both my legs and feet are affected by this but it's just all wrong as even the doctors told him i need help with daily chores.. but instead all i am getting is constant tear downs in front of my kids and that which in turn have really hurt me... at the moment i feel so lost alone and scared as i am dealing with everything including the gardaí regarding a rape case that i was put through when i was young i have been through so much and since my mum and dad passed away years ago i have no support and i just don't know what to do or where i can turn to as it is i am lucky to be alive.. but it's all getting too much to bare and i don't like it one bit... i do my best to protect my kids from all of this but i feel so heartbroken and lonely right now i am so confused :( even the area i am currently living is full of racist people and they don't like my kids as they are mixed race and calls them niggers and everything else... i am just so stressed out i don't know what to do....
it must be hard for you , when you are doing your best with no support
just to let you know you are not alone .
have you medication to help you ?
keep strong sending love x
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d l turner
i can't be put on medication due to my allergies.
and thanks for that..
i'm just getting more sick with worry though!!!!
worry is alfull i know this , i worry all the time
have you tried meditation ? something to help you relax , relaxation tapes , anything to take your mind of things ,
i find i cant concentrate because im worrying all the time , i know its an alfull state to be in ,
why are you confused ? hope you feel better soon x
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d l turner
You are not alone . This site is fab . Try the local services around you . Sure start are brill if you have kids under 5 .
Hi Di Gyal.
I can relate to your feeling of being crushed under the weight of worry. Following a marriage break down after 30 years of marriage I was beside myself with worrying how I could cope on my own after my ex had been in control of everything [including anything financial] I had given up work to have our family. Not only did I have that to worry about , my children were at very crucial stages of further education, my sister was diagnosed with Cancer, my dad was diagnosed with a terminal condition and I was facing possible redundancy from my part time job that I was doing after the family were older. I felt so low , with no hope for my future. I did think of taking my own life as i felt that bad. I felt that i should be putting everyone else before me and putting their needs first. I went to my GP something that I never did but it was the turning point as my own feelings frightened me. They were amazing. Di , it is about realizing that YOU have needs also ; in life you sometimes have to be selfish for a change. Think about helping yourself first. As a mum I know that you will struggle stepping down from your role as "super woman". Don't let your husband put you down; you are worth more than that. You need to remind him that you have given him the greatest gift a woman can give a man ....children. Tell him that in order for you to be well again then he needs to back off and support you.
Yes, he may be in pain but why does he think that you should be a doormat for him??
You can only do your best; if he wants something that badly let him do it himself. It will also be good for his recovery.
Take time out to totally relax; even if it is something simple like going for a walk, just lying down and concentrating on your breathing and nothing else. Keep talking to any friends/family.
Keep contact on this site; remember you are not alone. We are all on here to help each other.
Feel free to message me.
Never give up. Little by little , day by day.
Love , light and happiness.
Im sorry to hear of your struggles, my advice would be prioritise things and deal with one at a time, the first yourself. Take an hour or so a day away from everything even once the kids are in bed. Think of the positives in your life and how to make you feel better. Then your kids do what you need to and lastly your fella who by the sounds of it doesn't understand or maybe even care. Do not stay in an unhappy relationship with someone who only adds to your stress. Best thing I did was leave a 26 yr marriage were I suffered and still do cronic anxiety but at least I have one less person putting their rubbish on me.
You are stronger than you think
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thanks guys and no i don't put up with it the other day i finally snapped and i told him how it was...
everyone can't be wrong can they????
but thing is his sister is supposed to be coming over in July but i don't know how i will be react....
except if i'm in the same house i have warned my husband that i am sleeping downstairs as sleeping upstairs doesn't help...
that way i can tackle more things and get everything done...
and what i am confused about is the fact every time i get a good turn things go 10Xs worse and it's all back to square one again...
i even got the news yesterday that my birth dad is in hospital with a heart attack...
yet after all the hassle him my birth mum and family have given me and everything that they put me through i haven't cared for years and i really don't care that he's in there but i feel sorry for him,
i don't know what to think as a relative of mine told me about it and they told me they understand as to why i couldn't care less and that,
but in turn they made me feel guilty for how i am and how i just feel sorry..
like i should go to the hospital to see him...
but me i cannot be a hypocrite and go see him as that would make me feel worse about myself in the long run...
life is getting messier and more complicated....
not contemplating nothing though i am just tired of always have things bad although it's all i have known from childhood apart from when my mum was alive and my dad too...
nobody else in my family here in ireland gave a crap about me never....
now everyone is gone...
just me and the kids left...
all i have is family in the u.k now
and yes meditation used to work but me i need a few days break to recharge the batteries and feel some bit more human..
even if it is just to do more freestyles be around nature write some poetry or do all three... thanks again guys
Hi :) Just letting you know your not alone in feeling crappy, keep chatting to whoever you feel comfortable , Go talk to GP again if not being helpful :)
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