Topic of the discussion
Posted on 09/11/2015 17:38
I've had depression all my life I must feel happy for just 1 day in a week and that's only for a hour maybe .I hate it .I'm sick of feeling low all of the time .I'm wouldn't wish this illness on end one its terrible.
Beginning of the discussion - 10/11/2015depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-behavioural-disorders-mental-illne/depression-618
Posted on 10/11/2015 01:56
I feel you and am in the same boat myself as an abused child and Veteran been left to rot, But what I have found useful is to focus on that Hour that makes you happy and start to rebuild your life around that. Hope it helps.
Posted on 10/11/2015 09:31
Thank you leebee that's very kind do of you xx
Posted on 14/11/2015 19:38
Depression is a very cruel disease and also very real ! I took an overdose at the age of 14. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 25 ish and that is when I started on Anti depressants. I was adopted at 5 mths old, at the age of 21 I decided to trace my birth mum. I was 23 when I met my birth mum for the first time. You'll never guess but she had suffered with severe depression all her life. I live in Greenock, Scotland now but originally from Birmingham. My birth mum and I had 9yrs getting to know each other. But the evidence I have that depression is brutal, my birth mum made 3 attempts to end her life. And me coming into her life was a dream come true to her, yet still it took hold !! She eventually was given Ect treatment and finally got her medication right and she was brilliant ! 6 yrs ago my birth mum passed away, not an overdose !! Heart failure, the fags got her, not the depression. I moved up here anyway, as no family left in Birmingham, my mum (adopted), who I refer to as My Mum passed away when I was 15. I had also been through a relationship breakdown after 11yrs of being together. So yeah here I am now in Greenock.
Right now I'm well, March to early October has been my down period this year. I have a great support in terms of my gp and my psychiatrist. In combination I also take a mood stabilizer (quetiapine) as well as 2 types of anti depressants. I don't plan stuff anymore, I can't, 1 day at a time and live for the moment. In my eyes that's all I have, the here and now. While I am feeling good I would love to listen or try and help anyone that is struggling now. Right that's me well and truly introduced !!
Hugs and a hand to hold
Posted on 15/11/2015 10:55
Thank you Debbie your comments mean a lot xx
Posted on 17/11/2015 01:11
Bless ya Debs, hugs and feel your pain with no medication.....:)
Posted on 17/11/2015 01:17
Maybe its other people that need to slow down and not us?
Posted on 17/11/2015 12:59
Hi, I too am fed up with the highs and lows of depression, I am in the middle of a bad low at the moment...I recently fell ill with something totally not connected to depression and because I live on my own I had no one to call on to help me...this bought the depression on, before I fell ill I think I was alright, but looking back maybe I wasn't...the problem with me is I won't take medication for depression...I did before and I don't like the effects that medication has on me, the heavy head, sluggishness, foggy...so I work my way through...I don't make plans...maybe because I don't see a future...
I do try to self help myself, I am a member of two amateur theatre groups and I have been called upon to help stage manager a panto, this takes my mind off my troubles for a little while, but it's always there in the background niggling away at me...I have some good times...I can have a belly laugh...but the trouble with depression is it always creeps up on me...one minute I am happy...then crash...
I hate the mood swings that comes with the depression...one minute laughing...the next crying...I keep saying to myself why are you behaving like this...I feel guilty for being depressed especially when there are people out there who are far worse off then me...and I know I shouldn't feel guilty, because depression is an imbalance that is going on inside..but it still isn't helping me...
I've gone through thinking that maybe I'm better off out of it all...I hate waking up in the mornings, at least in sleep you can forget...then again I'm not sleeping too well so this isn't helping either, because I lie there in the dark with thoughts in my head, thinking what have I got to look forward to...why is this happening to me...
There are probably people on this site who are having it worse then me...but depression stinks and I just want to have more highs than lows...
Posted on 19/11/2015 22:17
It's 9.15pm I'm sitting here trying to read these posts but because the tears are running down my cheeks it's difficult. All I do is to try not to hurt myself again but it does seem the easy answer at present. I've had 2 emergency appointments to go see my GP but cancelled them as I can't face to talk to anyone at present.
Posted on 23/11/2015 16:04
I've had depression from a child I always remember being different to everyone and couldn't stick with the same friend for to long sometimes even I don't understand myself so wouldn't expect anyone else to