Topic of the discussion
Posted on 16/06/2020 14:24
Hello, new here, I could use some advice...
I've been depressed for too long but being very shy and having trouble getting things off my chest, it seems impossible to talk about my depression to my family or to a doctor. I know it's not normal to live like this (work, shopping, housework... and nothing else!) No social life, and I don't want to have one either, even with my family. It may be hard to believe, but even my children don't give me the strength to go on. I no longer see any interest or desire. It's hopeless, I don't wish this on anyone... to feel alone despite my children who are there (still teenagers) and so sad inside while I smile in front of people... probably to avoid the questions I don't have the answers to and especially to avoid crying... I don't know what to do anymore.
Beginning of the discussion - 16/06/2020How to start talking about depression? https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-depression/how-to-start-talking-about-depression-3473
Posted on 16/06/2020 14:43
@Raindrops Hello Raindrops, thank you for opening this discussion. Depression and mental health can be difficult to talk about as they are so deeply personal, but also because many of us were raised to not talk about our feelings. Let me tag some members who can maybe share with you:
Hello all, how are you today? Did you have a hard time opening up and talking about your depression? How did you finally muster up the courage? Do you think more work needs to be done in our society to de-stigmatise mental health?
@Vickyrichardsbrum @Just_Sad @Bubblesrolo16 @DorotaS @Jonolco @Janais @Dalrossi @Minpeblib @DonnaWorton @imnotok @Tigger.co.uk @Halfpint70 @blackpool66 @sad_faery @years93 @Watford @janehidd
Posted on 16/06/2020 15:14
When i was a young girl i didnt understand about mental health but as i used to visit my dad in his mental hospital i learnt quite a bit about how people reacted to someone who was mentally ill, because i was bullied just because of my dad being mentally ill, i had things shouted at me like your dads a looney and lives in a looney bin ,this used to upset me a great deal ,i couldnt tell my mum about bullying because she had enough problems of her own ,where the next penny comming from and what was happening with my dad ,so i used to sit and talk to my pet dog and i used to tell her everything, i never told teachers at school because they would say go away and dont tell tales so i used to self harm by pulling my hair ,eyelashes and eyebrows out ,i used to be scared of going out to play ,school ,or anywhere and i had all this from the age of six till i left school, i saw all kinds of things in dads hospital some were really frightening, but when i left school i plucked up the courage to see the doctor ,he could see how i was i sat and told him everything he started me straight away on valium ,ythen it went to a higher dose, and as i got older, i was on all kinds of meds ,and still today i have been diagnosed with post traumatic trauma depression and anxiety and now i am on amitriptyline 2 at night and 1 canderstartan but i still find it difficult to talk about what i saw in my dads hospital, and all the trauma i have been through in my life growing up plus all the illnesses and and scars i have its very difficult, i can help others but i cant seem to help myself ,but if anyone needs to chat please do i am always willing to help others but if you need help then go see your gp or phone the samaritans, or call mind and become a member they are always there to help love and hugs to everyone who has mental health problems. Tiger xxxx
Posted on 17/06/2020 15:40
@Raindrops This is so important, thank you for bringing this up. I don't know about you, but I, to some extent and certainly my parents, were very much part of that "keep calm and carry on", "stiff upper lip" generation where talking about feelings was taboo and men especially weren't allowed to cry or else be considered weak. I totally understand. I think these ways are still very much ingrained in our society and there is still much research and work to be done to understand depression and mental health. Talking about how we feel is so so difficult. Raindrops, you've taken the first and most important step by opening up to us here. Please please please, if you can, at least talk to your GP. He or she should be able to get the ball rolling for you and provide you with some resources and advice on treatments or medications. I know you may not feel like you can bear it anymore, but your children and your family need you, and you can only be there for them if you get some support yourself.
Posted on 17/06/2020 15:58
@Tigger.co.uk Trauma, especially at a young age and involving a close family member like your father, can be so hard to process and speak about. I understand.
I agree that there is still work to be done with mental health. I recognise many habits in myself that have been ingrained in me by society. I think it's inherently difficult to open one's self up and be vulnerable, but certainly when mental health has been looked down upon and stigmatised since the beginning of time.
Posted on 17/06/2020 16:34
Thank you both for your kind words it is getting a lot better now as before everything was so bad people were looked and treated like leppers now it is understood more ,kids being bullied, people with bereavements, violent relationships and marriage, etc i just wish somebody would have helped me then maybe i wouldnt be scared of my own shadow i was raped when i was 17 ,had his child at 18 ,in a violent marriage, with my first marriage, took me 6 yrs to get away from him ,was stalked ,had my life threatened twice ,and so many other things that life threw at me but now i am married to a wonderful husband, and i cant be a proper wife to him and that makes me feel worse as having loads of illnesses suffering with breast cancer, emphysema lymphoedema etc i find life very hard i know its not my fault but i am always blaming myself the ony things good in my life is my husband and my wonderful family so i suppose there are a lot more people suffering to so its good sometimes to talk about things but there are many more things that i cant talk about because the scars go to deep but maybe one day i just might be able to that is why i want to go to this talking therapies but it has been nearly 2yrs on the waiting list ,a few weeks ago i had to have another assessment this time by telephone so i can keep my benefits im just hoping and praying because on the 27 th june they all stop and that worries me sick because the last time i went to the court tribunal to get them back and i got them all back now they are going to stop it again and knowing my luck i will have to fight again because thats my life and nothing ever good goes for me ah well such is life well my lovelies take care stay safe and keep well your friend Tiger xxxx
Posted on 22/06/2020 20:01
I have suffered since I was teenager, I recently admitted (as I feel, I know it is not!) defeat and went on meds. I am not a meds fan and avoid at all costs. (I am 46) But I can honestly say it was the best thing I have done. I did not realize how low I was until the medication finally started working. I know medication is not for every one but talk to your doctor.
Just a quick note on the time the medication took, It took nearly a full 2 months of the meds for me to feel the affect of them working. I think I was expecting them to be instant, time is needed.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk. I think talking to someone who has been there is easier to talk to. If you haven't ever hit rock bottom, I think it is hard to understand.
Chin up...and get help it is definitely there xxx
Posted on 26/08/2020 14:21
Practice correct pranayama breathing techniques, yoga poses for relieving anxiety and stress, and many traditional yoga excercises helps to reduce your depression.