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Symptoms and complications of depression

Anxiety and depression

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Unregistered member

26/11/2017 at 21:16

Hello everyone, 

I require some advice because I no longer know what to do. 

My boyfriend has anxiety and depression. At the start of our relationship everything was perfect. When he told me about his anxiety and depression he was worried I would run and not want anything to do with him. I are assured him that this was not the case. He was very surprised that I stayed. 

In the last month or so something triggered his anxiety really badly. I've tried my best to understand what it is he needs. I've asked him what it is he wants but his response every time is "I don't know". He explained to me that when he's like this, he has no feelings, numb inside is what he said.

He worries that he's a burden to me, causing me pain, bringing me down with him and not being good enough. I've reassured him every time this is not the case. I even suggested space for a while but that didn't work.

He pushes me away and goes quiet on me. I feel I'm constantly going round in circles, feeling useless to him and whether or not I'm coming or going.

I asked him straight out of he wanted me to leave, which he said no he didn't. This has left me so confused. He doesn't want me to leave but doesn't know what he wants. 

He hasn't replied to my last message. It's always me to break the silence and ask of everything is fine. But this time I've decided not to message him first to see if this time he will reach out to me. However, I feel this will keep me in limbo for a while and me waiting for him to message back, whenever that will be.

Sorry for the long essay. Any suggestions will be appreciated. I've ran out of ideas on what to do now. I care for him too much to just walk away

 xxx

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avatar Avfc1965

Avfc1965

04/12/2017 at 17:06

avatar Avfc1965

Avfc1965

Last activity on 30/07/2016 at 12:30

Joined in 2016


1 comment posted | 1 in the Symptoms and complications of depression group


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Hi Hintonn95. I have the self same scenario except in reverse. I am the 1 with anxiety abd depression(along witt PTSD). My latest partner and I have been together 14mths and I was open about my mental health issues from day 1. He didn't run away. I HATE the festive season for many reasons and find my mental health deteriorates in line with it. Anyway, my partner and I split up 2wks ago(at my sau so). I had felt I was stepping on egg shells constantly trying yo carry on as if nothing was wrong. This exploded epically 2wks ago(with my ending our relationship. We have agreed to remain friyends at this point and things are getting back to how we got on to start with. I know its not what my ex wants but it has definitely helped me. I know thiz sounds selfish but as daft as it sounds it helped. I write a whole stream of how I was feeling to my partner. Yes I explained it was nothing he had done and it is just the way my brain works. All I can tell u as someone with depression and anxiety what scares me is precisely what others perceive to be 'normal relationships'. Maybe you could ask your partner if this is how he sees things. Maybe if he finds it hard to express things verbally get him to write down what he wants to say. Then you read and re-read it to see if you can glean any further understanding. This may or may not help. I hope it does. Also althiugh im sure I dont have to say this but I will. Please do not lay blame on you or your partner as its neither of your faults. 

See the signature

Lynne Reed


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2017-12-04 17:06:21
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12/12/2017 at 01:03

I have lost my job because anxiety runs my life ,, I meditation and watch my food and alcohol intake I do yoga Pilate's but however I do not feel I fit in with society ,,, I am very low and would appreciated any advice

Please 


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2017-12-12 01:03:49

avatar BrianM

BrianM

21/12/2017 at 05:14

Good advisor

avatar BrianM

BrianM

Last activity on 17/07/2025 at 02:30

Joined in 2015


49 comments posted | 21 in the Symptoms and complications of depression group

7 of their responses were helpful to members


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@Hintonn95 your boy friend clearly has a serious illness of anxiety and depression and you need to be very mindful of this, as he may not be able to have a meaningful relationship because of his serious illness. I think you should take it easy as he is clearly indicating that he finds it hard to cope with life and that he thinks that he is just a burden on you. why not give matters a rest for a while; he is getting treatment I suppose in addition to medication and then see if he improves. You could be a mature friend to him without getting emotionally involved as he seems unable to cope with a meaningful relationship now; maybe in time he might improve but you need to get on with your own life and socialise with your friends etc.

See the signature

BrianM


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2017-12-21 05:14:37
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09/01/2018 at 19:04

Hey guys, 

So a lot has happened in the mean time. I had to make the decision to end us seeing each other. I felt I had no choice. He was withdrawing more away from me and wouldn't even meet me anymore. I have suggested options to help him and what I want willing to do to help him. But he didn't know what he wanted himself. 

I didn't want to leave him but I felt like my hands were tied.

Since end of November I have continuously non stop thought about him. If I made the right decision. Or if there was something else I could have done. I miss him so much.

He message me out of the blue today. Asking me how I was. We opened up a lot to each other. That I do miss him a lot but I'm confused about my feelings still. He too said he misses me. 

But the he confesses he has been talking/seeing someone else. Not going to like I felt hurt and even more confused as to why he messaged me. 

I don't know what to do as I feel even more torn. 

Sorry for babbling on x


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-01-09 19:04:38

avatar lesmal

lesmal

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01/02/2018 at 13:22

Good advisor

avatar lesmal

lesmal

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Last activity on 28/07/2025 at 17:52

Joined in 2018


1,494 comments posted | 43 in the Symptoms and complications of depression group

75 of their responses were helpful to members


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@Hintonn95‍ Am sad to read your posts regarding your boyfriend's anxiety and depression. It sounds like he is very 'mixed up' with his feelings and doesn't appear to know what he wants in life. One minute he wants to talk to you, the next minute he doesn't. 

He misses you obviously from having had your constant support before, and also admits he has been talking to/seeing someone else. 

His depression sounds very serious, and I don't think he's ready for a serious relationship. 

Hoping you sort out your feelings and make the decision to go forward. 

See the signature

Les


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-02-01 13:22:02
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Unregistered member

09/02/2018 at 23:41

I know it will seem hard but you just need to be patient and support him through the tough times. 


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-02-09 23:41:12
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Unregistered member

27/02/2018 at 00:54

Your boyfriend needs you. Just like we all need someone. He doesnt want to talk. He just wants you to be with him cuddle up on the sofa and in bed. He wants you to make him feel worthy wanted needed and desired.

Stop asking him. Just as you girls dont want to talk he is the same.

You take control. Organise things to do that he likes n dont ask him what he likes you should know.

At this time of year sun defeciancy is a big part. Some vitamin D will help but a nice weekend in the sun with some romance will do him even more good.

Anxiety and depression are bourne from frustration and fear. Show him you eant him in everyway. I dont think i need to explain that on detail do I!

Warm hearty food. Fresh air. Fun. Laughter n love n care.

Promise you. A good woman made my life turn around. If he hasnt got a job get him to get involved in helping others. Homeless because they suffer depression and he can relate to them and them to him

Happy to help in anyway. Its a terrible thing x


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-02-27 00:54:57
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Unregistered member

27/02/2018 at 01:00

 @lesmal 

Great advice NOT. Thats a typical selfish womans answer.

It makes me angry hearing your kind of comments. About as useful as a knee in the b****cks.

He needs her live. But as you appear to be heartless you wouldnt undetstand.

One thing is for sure. You dont understand men


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-02-27 01:00:42
avatar exit

Unregistered member

27/02/2018 at 01:05

@rikki2d2 tell me more.

See my other comments. In this link.

Are you a woman?

Get involved in anything. Volunteer

 Get out of the house.

Happy to talk more


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-02-27 01:05:23
avatar exit

Unregistered member

06/04/2018 at 21:52

@Hintonn95‍ I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I am in a similar position in that my boyfriend of 2.5 years has told me he can't take the pressure of a long term relationship anymore and he needs time and space to work on himself. I'm willing to give him the time and space he wants, but in the same breath I'm so scared to loose him. He has said that this will be time for us to work on getting stronger for one another, but I can't help but feel that if he moves out, he won't be back. I've never known love like this and I'm desperate not to loose him. Have you talked through things with your boyfriend? How have things progressed? Thank you for sharing and I really hope you're well. 


Anxiety and depression https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/other-discussions/symptoms-and-complications-of-depression/anxiety-and-depression-2077 2018-04-06 21:52:35
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