Newbie

Hi Nic and welcome to the group.

Sometimes even the thought of doing what can appear so "simple "prior to your illness can be such a nerve racking time/thought; but Nic, you have done it.

That is a positive in itself. Taking those small steps will get you to were you need to be.

You can be in a room full of people who know and love you but you can still feel so alone and empty. I understand that feeling so well, along with the horrible anxious feeling that can appear to be totally unwarranted to those who have never experienced it.

That is the real benefit of joining this group; you will receive only support from those that have first hand experience. The bonus is that you are anonymous and so can say exactly what your thoughts/feelings are and it won't be repeated to your family /friends etc. You will also realize that it is "normal" to have these emotions as it is part /parcel of your illness.

I was offered counselling but chose not to accept it. I did however accept the help from my GP when he prescribed medication. 

Although the medication doesn't get to the real core of your illness, it helps to calm down your frantic mind allowing you to focus a little more clearly enabling you to work towards getting yourself to a better place mentally.

To this day , I still concentrate on my breathing when the anxious feeling starts to creep in. It was hard to calm myself down enough to overcome my panic attack but with practise it really does work as it makes me focus on something.

My advice is talk, talk and talk some more. It is a real bonus being able to release what is really happening within. Another reason to stay online?

Never be frightened to say what is going on inside. Never be ashamed, as mental illness is something out of your control. The more people speak out then the more acceptable it will become.

Do things that will make you feel good about yourself. 

Don't over think things. Go with the flow.

Don't try to plan ahead to far; Little by little, day by day.

At my lowest point, I never thought that I would get out of such a long, dark tunnel and truly laugh let alone be happy.

Hand on my heart , I am in such a wonderful, happy place in my life. Yes, there are low days but who doesn't have them?

I am told that I must be such  strong person to get through all that I have been through, believe me I never felt strong but what is the option?

Get on and try and make the most of my life or lie down and give up .

I did think how easy it would be to walk out in to traffic. That frightened me and made me realize that I needed help as I couldn't do it on my own. All along I told my family/friends who begged me to go to the GP that "I was fine and wasn't depressed"

All the hard work has to come from you ; I do hope that you will embrace 100% all the help being offered.

Concentrate on building up your confidence. Learn to love yourself as I am sure  others do.

Good luck with the CBT. Keep posting.

Big hugs.xx