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What NOT to say to someone with depression 🗣️

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Somya.P

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06/11/2025 at 15:00

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Somya.P

Community manager

Last activity on 13/11/2025 at 18:28

Joined in 2023

800 comments posted | 53 in the Depression Forum

72 of their responses were helpful to members

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Hi everyone 🌼

How are you feeling today?

When you live with depression, you quickly learn that not all support feels supportive. Even when people mean well, some phrases can sting, or make you feel even more misunderstood or isolated.

💬 Let’s talk about it:

What are some things people have said to you that just weren’t helpful?
How do you respond when someone says the wrong thing, or doesn't know what to say at all?
Is there something you wish people would say instead?

@Rutheashton @Scrowther @Diligaf @Hexkitten @Rose1952 @alicia69 @Raquelita777 @KezzySmith @lucyjacobs @Siana1 @Scoomoo @Kevin24 @labazs @trixi1956 @MargiQ @yerweepal @greatgranniedot @BigMacGregor @suz1212 @maxb24 @bully10 @lizziedawson @Star68 @gall55 @whiterabbit27 @lilac_arp @Artist62 @thelicencee @Keithwalker @bettyboop2103 @SomersetSeasider @Tink2180 @laceytree @kitty08 @greatraymondo @Shopaholic @dunny53 @mandypamelajane @joemac @Stemosh @BrianM @busybee6969 @interpio @Polly34 @kaysea @mayape75 @jamesm @susan2016 @Audrey55 @RKWILSON @flash910 @CarlosT @Jojohoobs @EleniR @lizches @Carol123 @saturi @Caz321 @debcotty @Evamarie @Welshladyx @Kathy13 @SKyler1311 @ElizabethJane1 @WeeBlu9Legend @Kerryt @Jonbon31 @Twin07 @Woodsta1986 @Dolphin74 @Lou222 @annafielding @Baileybaggins @may1976 @Vicky40 @LyKon82 @tallulahb @Seaview @paulg54 @sophiesmum @Dalrossi @Mcelderry91 @DawnMoon @Poppy101 @Leekat @millymills @Daz123 @wabews @Shinybutterfly1 @Liasamturn @Dejessvince @Boos20 @Diamonds @littlemisskitty @hazyb111 @Hotrod26 @Viny76 @SP3RDN4 @Cleverdick @Dave1964

Sharing our experiences can help others learn what real support looks like, and maybe even open the door to better conversations in the future. 💛

Take care,
Somya from the Carenity team 🌼

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Jonbon31

Edited on 12/11/2025 at 09:54

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Jonbon31

Last activity on 10/11/2025 at 12:22

Joined in 2016

7 comments posted | 3 in the Depression Forum

3 of their responses were helpful to members

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1 ahh your just feeling sorry for yourself

2 if your single get. Go get yourself a girlfriend/boyfriend

3 There are people who are worse off than you who have nothing

4 Can you not just be happy

5 Did you not take your medication

6 Go to Mass pray to your faith

7 Everyone has [This content has been moderated by an administrator] in their lives

8 Go to the pub for company

9 Don't go to those support groups, it will depress you more

10 Find a man or woman to have sex with.

What NOT to say to someone with depression 🗣️ https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-depression/what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-depression-5866 2025-11-06 18:19:27

technics29

07/11/2025 at 01:46

technics29

Last activity on 10/11/2025 at 19:00

Joined in 2015

5 comments posted | 2 in the Depression Forum

1 of their responses was helpful to members

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I lost most of my friends due to the fact that they would use the generic phrases those that have never assisted used, "pull yourself together" "there's light at the end of the tunnel" "you need to sort yourself out" "your just attention seeking". No-one truly knows what you go through unless they walk in your shoes. For me it's hard to discribe how it affects me, as it can change so quick. Even the week meaning people can make things worse if they don't understand our think they know what's best. Sometimes family are the worst. Since my mum passed 5 years ago I've not really spoken to my sisters as they don't understand how it affected me, and they never listen when I try to explain. (there all older than me)

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Phill v.

What NOT to say to someone with depression 🗣️ https://www.carenity.co.uk/forum/depression/living-with-depression/what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-depression-5866 2025-11-07 01:46:04

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jenlei14

16/07/2019 at 12:02

I take each day as it comes, try to have a focus for that day. Today is pretty good, but it gives me a nudge every now and again. H

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mrchipps

Ambassador

23/08/2023 at 15:47

Lizzie when we loss loved ones some people are expecting to grieve in the same way with each bereavement, and are even more upset because they dont. this can be for many reasons, for example it could be the age of the loved one, how close you were to a certain person, how well they physically or emotionally knew a loved one. or lastly some of us may never have met a loved one for many reasons. or if physical events had taken place ,and a loved one could not be viewed by family and friends

this happened me was because, my son and i parted with bad blood between us, and when his baby daughter was born , and died age 50 minutes i was banned from attending her service or internment, her name was Rebecca Jade, but i called her Becky, and i bought her a small headstone and i go to her grave at least once a month with fresh flowers. i will always love my grandaughter, but possibly not as much as my Angel wife or son, who took his own life.?

See the best comment

jenlei14

16/07/2019 at 12:02

I take each day as it comes, try to have a focus for that day. Today is pretty good, but it gives me a nudge every now and again. H

See the best comment

mrchipps

Ambassador

23/08/2023 at 15:47

See the best comment

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