All too often, survivors of trauma are told they must forgive in order to heal. But what if that’s not always true?
According to therapist Duygu Balan in Psychology Today, putting pressure on survivors to forgive, especially in cases of childhood abuse or familial trauma, can cause deep shame, delay healing, and even lead to further emotional harm. For many, the real path to healing starts not with forgiving the person who hurt them, but by finding compassion for themselves.
Some survivors only begin to heal when they stop trying to forgive. That really struck me.
💬 What do you think?
Have you ever felt pressured to forgive someone who deeply hurt you?
Has forgiveness been part of your healing process, or not at all?
What helped you move forward emotionally, with or without forgiveness?
Somya.P
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Somya.P
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Last activity on 12/06/2025 at 18:17
Joined in 2023
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Hi everyone, how are you?
All too often, survivors of trauma are told they must forgive in order to heal. But what if that’s not always true?
According to therapist Duygu Balan in Psychology Today, putting pressure on survivors to forgive, especially in cases of childhood abuse or familial trauma, can cause deep shame, delay healing, and even lead to further emotional harm. For many, the real path to healing starts not with forgiving the person who hurt them, but by finding compassion for themselves.
Some survivors only begin to heal when they stop trying to forgive. That really struck me.
💬 What do you think?
Have you ever felt pressured to forgive someone who deeply hurt you?
Has forgiveness been part of your healing process, or not at all?
What helped you move forward emotionally, with or without forgiveness?
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You’re not alone in this. Let’s open up about what’s actually helped us heal, without judgment or expectations.
Take care,
Somya from the Carenity Team 🌼