I can't do this anymore
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I don't know where my life has gone. Or how I got to this point. Each day has become confusing and each moment a struggle to get through. I am ashamed of what I write but it doesn't matter. It's all pointless. Not worth the space taken up. I would chose this for no one. Never.
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Hi Niamh i too go through all the thoughts you are experiencing what is the point ?. There is a point and that point is HOPE , never lose HOPE that things will get better. Always stick it out things do get better it just takes time.:)
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I also go through these times of self doubt self hate and feeling that my life is a pointless mess but you have to think of all the things that keep you smiling and get you though the day everyone has one thing that keeps that light on inside, I just hope that you haven't given up on life when life Is so precious and yes it can sometimes be ugly but life is also very beautiful just go find the beauty
@Mickymally and @donski
I also have thoughts like this on a daily basis, if you have good friends and family around you will be strong enough.
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@Niamh1 I feel like you sometimes!!!! But you can't give up on life! There are so many things you can still fight for that is a shame to not be there to accomplish them or see them. If it is worth for you you are important for us here in this site, so don't think there are no more things to fight for. As @MichBrad says you have to find strenght in others when you feel that you yourself can't be strong enough.
I send you lots of virtual hughs! Keep the spirit up!
i am feeling the same at the moment and I don't know how to get past this. Wish I could help and say something useful. If you want to talk feel free to msg me x
I suffer with dysthymia - dreadful waves of depression followed by short periods of feeling reasonably OK. As I get older, these OK periods are getting fewer in number, and more and more difficult to reach. So many years of utter hopelessness have passed. I have had this for sixteen years, and it has destroyed my life. I went to the doctor for the first time about it a few days ago, and he suggested I get a voluntary job working in a charity shop because helping others would "enrich" my soul, as he put it. I just looked at him blankly. Clearly he has no idea of what it's like to wish that you were dead. This is like a physical disease - I can feel it creeping up on me and then it sits on my thoughts like Jabba the Hut and festers for weeks on end. A couple of hours in Oxfam isn't going to help. It's been too long. It's because of doctors like him that I haven't been to speak to one sooner.
@Albinobeetle been having the same problem here in cornwall the doctors are cutting sick notes down to two weeks and saying work will make you feel better but they obviously have not experienced ptsd, bipolar and personality disorder of the many thing I been told I have and find it hard to even leave the house let alone work and see the public everyday. I too stare blankly and have a surge of anxiety and stress which cause me to go home and sit and dive in to oblivion thinking how am I gonna cope if the cut my esa I wont be able to exist let alone try to live. but I feel your stress and feel the system is flawed
@donski Thanks for commenting. It helps a little knowing that others have the same kind of problems. I find that many people are completely unable to understand what this feels like - they just cannot imagine it in their own minds, which sort of seperates us from them to some degree. Depression works hard to divide us from life and the people in it. I believe that GP surgeries should have a mental health expert on hand primarily dealing with these issues. My doctor was just reading stuff to me from off of the computer screen. I sat with him for ten minutes. A cup of tea would have lasted longer.
@Albinobeetle my doctor was checking google on her phone to see if the medication I was taking didn't mix funny this the antibiotics she was gonna give me which I thought was very unprofessional, then she realised I couldn't take them but I have been given these before and was wondering why I was more ill than if I didn't take them. turns out they are no good to take with quetiapine and I have also just found out that grapefruit juice is very bad with these also and I have been on them for years now x
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