Thoughts of going back home after my holiday making me feel depressed
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I don't have long left now until I fly home after my holiday, the people are so friendly and caring out here in Thailand, and give me a sense of self worth, and spiritual comfort, something, I've never really had before
I have belief that Buddha brings luck, I visit shrines, and wear a Buddha Talisman around my neck
I feel safe here, nobody can hurt me, where as back home I often feel trapped, I can be hurt, and nobody even notices
I"m struggling to sleep through having suicidal ideation/thought I really am not looking forward to going back home where all the problems will be right there waiting for me.
I have to try to sleep, despite feeling like I can't because of the thoughts, I'm so tired
I wish I could stay here forever.
hi Stumpy, i hope you have managed to get some sleep. when you get home if you have a small bit of spacee in the garden, you could maybe set up a small buddha shrine of your own. just somewhere that you could go to have some quiet time or just to feel calmer. my mother has her little buddha statues in the garden and she finds them helpful. its just an idea.
Hi Tracy, unfortunately I have a shared garden where I live, if you can call it a garden, it's 5ft high with brables but I could make a shrine indoors, or somewhere else I go, like one of the charities I'm with, in their garden, I'm sure they wouldn't mind :)
I'm hoping to get a small Jade Buddha to take home too, I might try to buy a larger Buddha when I get home and have him delivered
I did get a little sleep, but still feel tired, was woken by the noise of drilling/angle grinder this morning about 6:30am, they start work early out here, I went in the shower, and had to have a cold shower, as the boiler that seems to heat the water has finally packed in, it was intermittent between hot and cold, but now it's just cold and won't come hot at all
I'm gonna have to report it to reception and see if they'll send an engineer to have a look, although I only have 6 nights left here now, so it may not get fixed before I leave.
I'm just glad, because of the warm climate it's not urgent to have hot water.
It's a whole different pace of life out here, nobody pays attention to time, there are 2 speeds slow and stop, and engineers here are just like odd job men, and if they can't fix it quickly and easily/cheaply, they just don't fix it, I just prefer to have a soap down and wash, before going in the swimming pool, but if the shower can't be fixed I'll just go in the pool without it, as the chlorine will clean me anyway
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Morning my lovely friend Stumpy. Try and focus on the 'here and now' whilst you are in to the last days of your holiday. Worry/think about returning until it happens.x
I think that no matter what God you believe in ,you can still find an 'object' peaceful/calming. I am a Christian but I actually find the statues of Buddha calming even though it is just a mass produced piece of stone e ones unless it is in one of the beautiful temples like you visited It is a case of whatever you find 'spiritual '.
You could make your own private place of 'tranquility/peace' in your own place ,where it is there constantly when you need it most in times of darkness/stress.
It is sad when we have to leave somewhere where we have felt so comfortable/welcome but think of how excited your lovely little 4 legged friend will be to have you home.
We all dread returning home to 'normality' if we feel the above emotions. In time, you where you are would become 'normality' and you wouldn't feel the same anymore.
Focus, on the next chapter and where it will get you; be positive in your mind and attitude .
Anyway Stumpy, I think that you have had far to much sun ,whilst I have been cold and wrapped up in layers at times. You have had to many lovely meals, when I have had all the usual meals and so I now would like you back home.!!
Looking forward to hearing about your own little place of Thailand being made when you return.
Have a fab day .
Hey Julie, I bought a Jade Thai Buddha today, ready for my very own shrine, I am missing my Scooby, I did look for pictures, and ornaments that look like him, but couldn't find any, my four legged friend will be happy to see me
I have had far too much sun already, am gonna have a lazy day tomorrow I think, spend some time in the pool, and go to Yok to see if I can draw money from the cash machine using my bank card, as I've run out of money, but still have some sterling I can exchange at a bank if I really need, but would prefer to keep some sterling on me for when I get back to Heathrow
Saturday I may be going back to Bo Sang, where they paint on stuff, with my auntie Val and Uncle Mike
Looking forward to getting back to the cold, and building my shrine back home, will take some pictures
*Hugs wrapped with Love*
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